


Painted Skies

by AkiieLoo



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Feels, Animal Instincts, Animalistic, Armin Arlert Needs a Hug, Bottom Armin Arlert, Boys In Love, Broken Eren Yeager, Broken Families, Broken Promises, Declarations Of Love, Denial of Feelings, Dorks in Love, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreams vs. Reality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eren Yeager is bad at feelings, Experimental Style, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Forbidden Love, Friendship/Love, Human Experimentation, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Jealous Eren Yeager, Jealousy, Love, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Medical Experimentation, Moving On, Nerd Armin Arlert, Obsession, Other, Overprotective Eren Yeager, Painful Love, Painful Sex, Porn with Feelings, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Eren Yeager, Possessive Sex, Possibly Unrequited Love, Protective, Protective Eren Yeager, Romantic Friendship, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Roughness, Sassy Armin Arlert, Sexual Experimentation, Top Eren Yeager, Trying to move on, Ultimate Sacrifice, Unrequited Love, a big fucking hug, rough love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:27:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 25,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29889387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkiieLoo/pseuds/AkiieLoo
Summary: After being killed, Armin Alert was overwhelmed by a stack of images. Mental photos of other decisions, other roots, his other lives. His other deaths. Everything that happened in all his past lifes. He remembered many things, but a few things stood out the most: he had been abandoned by both Eren and Mikasa many times. Many different times the two people he cared about the most had ran away and left Armin to face the darkness of the world. Armin remembered being broken by them, he remembered Eren deciding to destroy the world, he remembered to many things……So when he wakes up as a young child again, he decides to build a new path for himself. A new future, a new dream, a new hope. One that didn’t involve Eren Yeager or Mikasa Ackerman.Or at least, that was what he hoped. Armin never realized that everything rooted back to the one moment he sat with Eren, showing him the book about the outside world. The book that would light the flame of not being free. That once determination of being free, was soon replaced with something much darker, something much more…obsessed with the sudden reluctant blonde haired, blue eyed boy.What other things had changed?
Relationships: Armin Arlert & Annie Leonhart, Armin Arlert & Eren Yeager, Armin Arlert & Jean Kirstein, Armin Arlert & Jean Kirstein & Eren Yeager, Armin Arlert & Marco Bott, Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss & Ymir, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman/Hange Zoë, Levi Ackerman/Petra Ral, Marco Bott & Jean Kirstein, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Mikasa Ackerman & Armin Arlert & Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart, Mikasa Ackerman/Sasha Blouse
Comments: 75
Kudos: 190





	1. Broken Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Armin dies, he is overflowed with memories of all the other dimensions. All the other times he has died. He remembers every single thing that happens. Both Eren and Mikasa has abounded him many times, have left him for dead in other world. They have killed on accident many times. This time is different. Armin wakes up as a ten year old, and remembers. 
> 
> Now he works to make a new path without Eren Yeager or Mikasa Ackerman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone.
> 
> this is a story i began to write a while back, but was recently relit. the new chapter really hit a soft spot inside me, and i wondered: if mikasa's au dreamworld was real, and another universe, what else could be real? eren and mikasa ran away, leaving armin to deal with the war by himself. so i wanted to play with that a little more.
> 
> this is a eremin story! so please bear with the little hints of other couples. it is a eren and armin story, it is about them.
> 
> english is not my first language, so i hope this isn't too bad. i really can't wait to write more. this is a test chapter! it depends on if i get any comments due to never being very confident in my writing! so please leave a comment!
> 
> enjoy

The war of Marley was brutal.

Armin’s insides were burning with something he didn’t have time to pay attention too. Instead he focused on the fight, controlling the large sack of lava meat. Thick ropes of flesh pulled on his skin, as he forced the large body to stay upward.

His eyes watered as he stared at the opponent.

He couldn’t believe this is how it will end. After everything. After everything he had done, what they had done. He really wished he could understand the other. The screams and wails form below made his ears bleed. This had to end, it has to end soon. Armin wasn’t sure how much longer he could put up with this.

Everything hurt.

It hurt so badly, but Armin willed himself to stay calm. To stay focus.

Could he…could he really love this? Does he really love this hell, or was he trying to accomplish something else? Armin didn’t know but he wished he did.

A large fist was delivered to the side of his head. Armin felt the pain immediately, it vibrated through the layers of flesh and bone, sending a disgusting throb through the side of his head. This wasn’t what he wanted. He wish they didn’t have to do this, that they could have avoided it.

Armin wished it hadn’t ended like this…

For the whole of the battle, for the whole of the fight, Armin had done his best to push his feelings down. To push everything inside of him to the pit of his stomach, and tried to ignore it the best he could.

Did he even care?

Blood rushed down his face, staining the side of his head. Sometimes, Armin wondered what would have happened if he admitted everything to the other? Would they still try to kill everyone? Would they still be trying to rip everything down?

His bones were shattering. His vision beginning blur with redness.

A sharp pressure ran through his chest, sending poisonous aches up and down. A ghastly throb tingled from the back of his head. Another large fist hit him in the same spot, making his head snap to the side.

Darkness was beginning to crawl in at the corners of his eyes.

“I bet Armin’s doing all his best to find us-“

“I’m sorry, we promised not to talk about this-“

Armin squinted his blue eyes. What? What was that? The voices blurred through his ears, hissing and snarling until his throat hurt. Images overloaded his sensitive brain, pictures of – of something else? He wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t pay attention to it as darkness took over him.

Finally, he fell and it didn’t hurt anymore.

‘Why don’t you ever run away?’

‘I want to hear your voice since you’re such a beauty.’

‘It’s not me or the commander whose going to save humanity, it’s –‘

‘No matter what anyone else says, you already have this role. I expect that you will have even greater contributions to humanity.’

‘To be honest, I don’t really know why but if its for the sake of taking back my freedom. This strength comes from within me.’

‘I knew you were more a hero. More than anyone else.’

It hurt. He felt as if his body was being burnt from the inside out. It ran up his arms, and straight to his eyes. But yet he couldn’t see anything.

‘The one who should have been revived wasn’t me…’

‘Didn’t we promise we’d go to the ocean together? Have I ever lied to you?’

“I bet Armin’s doing all he can to find us-“

The pain!

It was too much! It burned through him all at once!

He launched up, sitting up with his eyes widening in horror. His hands flung up to grab at his head, his fingers spreading wide and grasping at his hair. The series of images flashed repeatedly until he felt as if he was about to be sick.

The pictures burned! His eyes watered, tears beginning to run down his cheeks.

They didn’t care?

He was left behind in so many lines! Why was he never important enough? He was always then one to be discarded! Image after image filled his head, he felt like his head was about to burst.

He was what? Just something to be kept around when they needed their ego stroked? What about him? Why didn’t they ever let him die when he wanted too! If both of they was going to just ditch him, why did they fight to keep him in that hell hole?

So many different times, different lines, he was the one dropped.

How often was he betrayed?

‘By this time next year, we should be able to see the ocean together.’

Bullshit!

It was such a lie!

It was his dream, that the other only used to hitchhike on. Pretended to care only to keep him dancing for his amusement.

A high pitched, blood-hurling scream ripped free from his throat. Tears floated down his cheeks.

Seriously? Was that true? Did they, if given the chance, abandoned him?

He screamed until he couldn’t anymore. His throat hitching as he pulled at his hair. There was so many! Too many to keep up with! They kept burning in and out of his mind, his eyes was wide – staring straight ahead but not truly looking. His twisted his body, his legs sliding out on either side of himself as he pushed his face into the ground.

Stop! He can’t take it!

It was too overwhelming!

“Armin?”

He jerked as hands touched him. Armin screeched, shaking his head and yanking hand-fulls of hair out. He tried to move away from the large hands, it hurt too much. He felt as if he was dying over and over again! Every passing minute, he could see it. He could see himself dying. He would die in all sorts of ways, some disgusting and others weren’t. Either way, he died.

Why? Why!

“Armin, calm down. You’re dreaming.”

“No! No! I’m dying! I always die!”

“Armin…”

There was so much blood. His bones were always being crushed. Sometimes he died from a simple shot, other times he died by being ripped part, or the person loved more then anything killed him. He was always left behind, always casted to the side.

“It hurts!”

A weight was suddenly added too…a bed? What? He was on a mattress, with blankets and pillows? How…were was he before? He was in a head, wasn’t he? In-in something and he was killed.

“I…”

“Armin,” a familiar gentle voice said, “Armin, shh, calm down.”

Sniffling, and as much pain it caused him, Armin finally raised his head. He squinted his sore, red-rimmed eyes, Armin looked up at the person sitting next to him. Everything shuddered inside him, he stared for one long moment with nothingness running through him before he scrambled forward.

“Grandpa!”

The old man caught the young blonde, careful of accidently dropping the boy. His old, wrinkly arms wrapping around him.

“Armin?”

Armin screeched. He sobbed disgustingly into the old man’s night-shirt, his fingers clenching around the fabric and tugging. He cried and cried. He cried for what he had seen, he cried for all the pain and suffering he had went through, he cried for the people he thought was his friends, was his family but really wasn’t.

It hurt.

He was abandoned by parents, and then the people he loved choice to abandoned him too. How many times had they done it? Over and over and over again. All this time, Armin had struggled to accept he was deserving of them and look how that had ended.

Oh god. He was so wrong.

His Grandfather held him, rubbing his back.

“It was just a nightmare.”

Armin sobbed, “N-No, no it wasn’t.”

“Armin.”

After hours, Armin finally began to settle down. His eyes were so sore, and his face must have looked so sucken. His whole body hurt, and he didn’t want to move back from his Grandfather. The only person who truly cared for him, and Armin truly did adore him.

“Armin, do you feel better now?”

He nodded once, but then shook his head.

The old man gently edged Armin’s face up, “It’s just a nightmare. Okay? You were dreaming, everything’s-“

Suddenly the man cut himself off. His eyebrows creased, and his wrinkled fingers suddenly touched Armin’s cheek. He tilted his head, tilting the blonde’s head as if he was looking at something very worrying.

“You may be unwell,” he said, “It looks like you’ve gained a rash.”

Armin swallowed, reaching up to scratch at the spot his Grandfather had been looking at. His nose flared, twitching a little.

“Hmm.”

Hiccupping, Armin tried to hold onto his Grandfather as the old man stood up. Sadly, the man eased him back onto the bed, patting him gently.

“I’ll go make some hot milk, that always helped you when you have a nightmare. In the morning I’ll call Mr Yeager.”

Yeager?

Armin’s eyes watered again.

“Maybe he’ll bring young Er-“

“No.”

His Grandfather paused. A look of confusion appearing across his face, “You don’t want him to-“

“No, I don’t,” Armin sniffled, pulling the blanket up to his nose, “No. I’m alright.”

The man eyed his grandson quietly for a good few moment. He then nodded, and turned to hold the bedroom door open.

“We’ll see how you feel in the morning, okay?”

Armin nodded.

He waited until he was sure his Grandfather had left, before he kicked the quilt off. Armin rolled off the bed, and landed delicately on his legs. The feeling was immediate, sending powerful waves of numbness up them. His head was light, and Armin almost fell flat on his face – maybe he was sick?

Dragging himself to the small mirror his mother had left behind, Armin stared at him. Everything inside him froze up, as if frost had suddenly spread across his insides. His heart beat slowed down to a dim drum, and he suddenly was short for breath.

It was his face staring back at him, but not the face he recognized.

No.

The reflection was younger, much-much younger. He was…he had to be younger than thirteen years old. Maybe he was ten? Just like his Grandfather had pointed out, there was a red rash going along his face, under his eyes and across his cheeks. His fingers trailed across it, following the rash down his neck to the blue shirt he wore. He pulled it up, revealing his thin, youth form smothered in angry little spots.

He was sick!

But…how could this possible?

Armin remembered…he remembered being on the battle field. Being inside that large body suit, and fighting against-against… _him_. He had died, hadn’t he? _He_ had killed him, hadn’t he? _He_ had tried knocked his head off, and killed him.

What had happened after that?

Right. He saw everything.

How he was able to see all the other directions that could have gone. All the other decisions _he_ had, that _they_ had. He had seen that in more decisions lines they had hurt him.

Armin remembered all the feelings he felt. He had all the emotions shoved into him from all his-his-his what? His other self?

What was he supposed to do now then?

Why was he here? Why did he remember?

Armin sighed. His arms dropping down in front of himself, his head falling tiredly. Tears swirled up at the corner of his eyes. It hurt so much. His hands grabbed at the fabric covering his chest, and tugged. It was a level of pain he would never forget.

To think he actually…

His dreams, his hopes, everything _he_ promised. Was a lie…it was all a lie.

Armin would always be left alone.

There was only a small select amount of people he could rely on. None of them were close to him, if he really was back in Shiganshina District. A shiver ran through him at the thought. He turned to the small window, and stumbled towards it, pushing it open to look outside.

Time stopped.

The walls.

The 50ft high walls. They stretched high into the sky, casting dark shadows across the slumbering village. The walls that held thousands of Colossal Titans. The Titans _he_ would later use to kill thousands of people, most of them innocent…ah no, that was in a couple of the lines. Not all of them. Other times, _he_ would run away and leave Armin to clean up the mess.

But why?

Armin would have been happy to die. He had wanted to die many times, and of course he never got that wish.

“Armin?” a voice suddenly said from behind him, “Didn’t I tell you to lay down?”

“Grandpa. Do you think god hates us?”

The old man blinked. He put the stained mug onto the old bedside counter, and walked up to guide Armin back to bed.

“Why do you say that?”

Armin swallowed, “We don’t have freedom. We’re doomed to be trapped in here, like dancing monkeys. There’s nothing outside the walls expect death, tears and blood, right?”

“Maybe. Nobody really knows what’s outside.”

“What if I say I did?” Armin asked, looking up at him, “What if I tell you I know exactly what is outside? If I say our life is controlled by another humanity? A humanity that wants us to die, who sends the Titans to kill us.”

The old man gazed at Armin gently. He laid the little boy into the blanket, and began to tuck him in.

“That’s just the fever talking.”

“No, Grandpa-“

“You have a temperature.”

Armin frowned, “I’m not, I mean…Grandpa, Marley controls us. T-They’re across the ocean from us, they call us Paradis Island. They send Titans to keep us in-“

“Armin,” the man sighed, “You need to rest. I will be calling Mr Yeager tomorrow, hopefully he can give you some medicine.”

Frowning deeply, the blonde crumbled, “But-“

“No, sleep Armin.”

With a defeated sigh, Armin nodded. His eyes slid half-lidded, his long eyelashes casting pretty shadows across his pale cheeks. He pulled the blue blanket closer to himself, pulling it high to his nose and burying it into the blanket. It’s been a long time since he smelled his families scent, it was nice.

“The hot milk is, well, hot.”

“Grandpa, tomorrow…just invite Mr Yeager, not…”

“…Are you sure?” the old man asked, a eyebrow raising, “I thought you adored the Yeager boy. Were close friends.”

Armin rolled away, “We were…”

“Maybe it’s just your fever, son.”

It wasn’t.

~#~#~#~

It was sunny in the Shiganshina District.

The sky was clear, no cloud was in sight. The sun was higher then normally. Armin sighed, leaning back to stare up at the sky. His fingers reaching up to scratch at the bandages across his face. Mr Yeager had came to see him without _him_ , thankfully. Armin wasn’t sure what he would do if he saw either of them.

Still, seeing Mr Yeager…Armin grumbled to himself. He was reminded of the things the man had done, and was in process of doing. But what could Armin do? He was flipping ten. Ten years old! Why he was back here, before Bertholdt kicked the wall down.

Could he stop that from happening?

Would the soldiers even listen to him? He tried to speak to his Grandfather about it, but the old man had brushed it off – Armin was unwell. He was supposed to be resting in his bed, but Armin had stuck out – the first time he had disobeyed his Grandfather…

Oh, he knew he would be in so much trouble if he’s caught. His Grandfather would seriously ground him.

As he laid back across the warm ground, Armin stared up at the sky. The grass was warm against his skin. He had never been able to just sit back and relax. He couldn’t think straight. His brain was scattered with the past, with what was going to happen and that he couldn’t stop it.

Did he even want to fight?

Joining the Survey Corps, and fighting. Fighting, fighting and fighting. Risking his life over and over again. Armin had thought it was all for a good course, trying to fulfil his dream. He wanted to see the ocean, had always wanted to see it, but he has. In his past life, in many of his past lifes, he had seen the ocean. He had seen everything he had always hoped for.

Talking to Marley. Finding a new way to settle this pending war. Was it even worth it? In all lines, he died. He either died in the war, or was murdered by a titan, or something else.

He was just…tired.

Armin slid his eyes shut. His brain was just too all over the place, he had time he supposed, to try and figure it out. He had three years until the walls were breached and he could figure out what he wanted to do then.

One thing was for sure, Armin wasn’t going to risk his life for people who doesn’t care. Not this time. Not when he knows. Not when the images burned his heart and soul. It was time to look towards a new road.

He didn’t want to fight anymore…

He groaned, pressing a hand to his throbbing head. He couldn’t think straight, not with this damn fever of his.

As he laid still, trying to settle his messy head. The images from all his lost past lives began to resurface, making him look at all the little details he didn’t notice before.

 _He_ said _he_ definitely shared the dream of the outside world, but never truly listed. Never truly joined in with the excitement. That should have been his first red flag, his first sighting of something not being right.

It was insulting. Like he was a dog being pulled along when it worked for _him_.

Or when _she_ , grabbed only _him_ to scale the wall. Armin could have quite easily die from the canon ball. No, that had happened in another line. _She_ had saved _him_ only, and left Armin to die.

Ouch.

It was even more insulting that Armin remembered his light going out in _his_ arms after that. _She_ stood there watching in shock. As if _she_ had the right to be…

When that dirty – vile man put his hands onto his body. How he was being felt up and the man whispered those disgusting words into his ears. Armin’s head spun as he recalled the words. His cheeks puffed out in revulsion. 

_They_ didn’t care. Armin remembered crying brokenly. In one line, Armin had even opened himself fully to _him_ and cried in _his_ arms.

 _They_ never did anything!

Both of _them_ waited until he stopped crying and walked away! Armin had thought at the time that it was because _they_ were blind sighted. Overwhelmed with everything, and had too many things going on…

But now…now that Armin saw all the different situations, the different – the different universes…Armin knew _they_ didn’t care!

Armin had seen, had witnessed the difference. _He_ would speak to _her_ when _she_ needed it, but neither of _them_ would do that for him.

Or how about the time, Armin tried to talk about just communicating with Marley? They both gave him such a look and shrugged him off. Immediately knocking him down.

During his last life, when Armin had been trapped by a titan. A titan that _he_ sent! And for what? To play sand castles with _his_ brother? Because _he_ felt guilt about being to harsh to him? What was the point of it?

…Armin was nothing but a toy, wasn’t he?

 _She_ didn’t come to save him. _She_ left him there, but if it was _him_ and not Armin…

He loved them. Armin really did, he adored them and always struggled after them. But now he truly thought about it, the two were always so far in front of him. Armin had always been watching their backs.

Always.

They fought for him on the roof. He wanted to die, and he thought it meant something with them fighting for him. But maybe it didn’t. It was something for them, and not himself.

Oh, that hurts.

They were unable to sacrifice their own interest for him…why was it always him? Why did Armin always end up sacrificing his own interest for them?

He was just tired.

Armin needed to discover a new way. A new path for himself.

Maybe he could still fight this war, but in a new way? In his own path rather then their way. He had followed them into the Survey Corps for two reasons. He wanted to see what was outside the wall, but he always wanted to stay with them…he didn’t anymore.

He didn’t want that anymore.

What does he want?

“Armin!”

His eyes sprung open. In hindsight, Armin should have suspected something like this happening. Their childhood was them always together. If Armin remembered correctly, he doesn’t find the book for a month and then he shows it.

Still, he bites back a tired groan and sits up. His body throbbed as he forced himself to move. Maybe it really was a stupid idea to sneak out? He should have stayed in his bed, resting and trying to sleep this sickness off.

The rash itched like crazy.

“Armin!”

He turned his head, watching as the other boy vastly approached. His chest tightened as he saw the boy that was once so innocent. Before he started down the road the destruction.

Ah yes, this was when they began to grow – huh?

“Armin, my dad said you were sick? I wanted to come see you, but he wouldn’t let me.”

Armin stared.

Eren Yeager.

He looked exactly as Armin remembered. The short brown hair, and glowing emerald eyes. The same tan skin, only it wasn’t riddled with scars or bruises. It was clear, not even a tiny cut. He even wore the same clothes too.

“Armin?” Eren frowned, climbing to his knees in front of the blonde, “Hey? What’s wrong? Are you still sick-“

“Don’t touch me.”

Armin jerked out of the brunette’s reach.

Eren blinked, his eyes beginning widen in surprise, “I, what? What’s wrong, Armin?”

Crawling backward, Armin forced his weak body to slid away from the soon to be shifter. He couldn’t bare to be close to him, not now, not again. It hurt too much. Armin wished he didn’t care. He wished he didn’t have to feel so much pain around the other boy.

“Nothing,” he muttered, climbing to his feet, “I just…want to be left alone.”

Eren quickly shoot up worriedly, “Why? Did I do something?”

Yes. But Armin wasn’t going to answer that. Instead he turned around to walk away, or at least tried too. His head spun, and he stumbled, missing his footing and almost falling face first – if it wasn’t for the boy behind him…

Grabbing his elbow, Eren pulled him up. He turned Armin, and stared into his face.

“Are you okay?” he asked, eyebrows creasing, “You almost fell over, you know?”

Eren reached for Armin’s hand. However, just as his fingers were about to touch his skin, Armin whipped his hand away as if Eren had burned him which he might as well have.

The brunette made a face at that.

“Come on, I’ll take you to see my dad.”

“No,” Armin said, “I’ll just go home.”

Eren quickly circled around the blonde when he tried to leave again, “Oh, okay. I can walk you home. You always liked me doing that.”

Did he?

Armin remembered sort off. He adored Eren. Always wanted to spend time with him. He liked it when Eren did things for him, but he supposed, Eren did that to keep Armin in line. He guessed it was good to have a weak, pathetic boy at his side. It makes himself seem stronger then what he is, right?

After all Mikasa was a lot stronger then either of them.

“No thank you.”

Eren frowned, “Why not?”

“I just don’t want you too.”

The brunette shifted after him, he opened his mouth – probably to press harder when he paused. He turned his head with a sigh, and Armin didn’t need to look to know why. He wondered when Eren’s annoyance of her turned to love?

He loved her enough to hurt Armin, huh?

“You don’t have to follow me everywhere!” Eren grumbled, “I’m just seeing Armin.”

Mikasa approached them with a indifference expression. Her long dark hair framing her half-hidden face, the thick red scarf wrapped tightly around her head like normally. It was gross to think how attached she would become to that scarf. Thought Armin understood, she was almost sold into slavery if Eren didn’t save her, but still.

“You were supposed to come help me pick up sticks.”

Eren flushed, “I wanted to make sure Armin was alright!”

“He looks fine to me.”

Armin rolled his eyes, “Don’t use me as an excuse to skip your chores.”

“What?” Eren snapped his head around, “I wasn’t! I generally wanted to see you!”

The blonde shrugged. He turned back around, and once again began to walk away. This time he trained his blue eyes onto his feet, walking carefully and hoping not to have another dizzy spell.

“Armin! Wait!”

“No.”

“What did you do to him?” Mikasa voice asked quietly.

Eren whined, “Nothing!”

“Don’t worry Eren. He’s just unwell, remember what your dad said.”

Armin snorted to himself. It’s not just because he’s sick.

He is just done with it. Done with them.

~#~#~#~

“Let’s see.”

Armin hummed quietly. He peeked up at his Grandfather, watching as the man took his temperature. He didn’t feel sick anymore. His head wasn’t throbbing anymore, the migraines had finally melted away.

He felt pretty fine honestly.

“Your temperature has gone now. That’s good,” the old man muttered, carefully pulling the bandages down, “But the rash is still there. We should apply more cream.”

Singing softly to himself, Armin swung his legs back and forth. He watched as the man went to take out the small tube Mr Yeager had left for him. He hissed slightly as his Grandfather applied the cream.

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine.”

The old man raised an eyebrow, “Just fine? No headaches? Or stomach aches?”

“Nope,” Armin smiled, “I feel fine.”

His Grandfather leant back in thought. A hand reached up for his chin, “If you’re sure.”

“I am!”

Armin leaped down from the table. His spread his arms out, stretching his fingers out with a quiet laugh.

“I’m feeling better.”

“If you say so,” his Grandfather chuckled, “But you start to feel sick again, you’ll tell me.”

“I will Grandpa.”

Nodding his head, the old man began to put away the first-aid supplies he had. Armin watched him quietly, not running off like he would have before. Any given chance, Armin would be off – bouncing towards the Yeager house. Not anymore.

“You can go, if you want?”

Armin shook his head. He began to help tidy up, “No. I’ll stay with you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not?”

The man laughed, “What are you after?”

“Nothing!” Armin beamed, “Why would I be after anything?”

“You want to have Eren stay the night again?”

Armin paused. His blue eyes widened, before narrowing, “No.”

“Oh? Why not?”

“I just don’t want too,” the smaller blonde shrugged, “I want to stay here, with you.”

His Grandfather would die in a few years. When the walls were breached, and they get to Trost District, his beloved Grandfather would be sent away. Sent on a death mission to try and recapture Wall Maria. It was a suicide mission that would result in thousands dying.

Armin’s eyes misted up at the memory. He didn’t want that. He didn’t want to lose his Grandfather.

“Why can’t we move to the Trost District?”

The old man turned to look at Armin with a strange expression. He slowly walked back to the large table, “What brought this on?”

“I was just wondering is all,” Armin mumbled, “I don’t like the Shiganshina District. I’m bullied all the time, pushed around for being weaker, smaller, and um, it’s not safe for you.”

Smiling softly, his Grandfather pets him on the head, “You don’t have to worry about me, Armin. I know you’re being bullied, and I have been trying to stop them. I’ve been talking to their parents, I’m sorry nothings changed. But it’s not all bad is it? You have Eren and Mikasa.”

“But I don’t.”

“Hmm?”

Armin sighed, “I mean…they’re not my friends anymore.”

“Did you have a fight?”

“Something like that.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

The smaller blonde shook his head. Instead of walking away like he wanted to do, Armin approached his Grandfather. He wrapped his arms around the man, having a desperately needed hug.

“I’ve been having bad dreams.”

The old man pets him on the head, “Like the other night? When you woke up screaming?”

“Yes,” Armin whispered, “You died. I don’t want that to happen.”

“I won’t die, Armin. I’m in perfect health.”

Armin sighed. He wished he could come out and explain everything to he beloved Grandfather, but he doubted the old man would believe him. His Grandfather would believe Armin was still unwell.

He wanted to make sure his Grandfather wouldn’t die. Wouldn’t be sent on that suicide mission. If he couldn’t save anybody in the Shiganshina District, then he will resort to saving just his Grandfather. No other family would believe a delusional, fever riddled ten year old. Maybe, just maybe, he could convince his Grandfather to move to Wall Rose? Doesn’t have to be the Trost District, just away from Shiganshina District will due.

But he had to make it seem like his Grandfather’s idea.

It’s time he puts himself and his only real family first. If he can get his Grandfather out of Shiganshina District before the attack, his Grandfather wouldn’t be sent on the mission. They would already be registered as a citizen of the new District and they wouldn’t be included on the population record.

…the main reason for the mission.

“But Grandpa-“

“I’m not going to die and leave you alone,” the man smiled, “You don’t have to worry. Did somebody say something to do you?”

Armin opened but then shut his mouth. He pouted, and looked away. He shuffled his feet awkwardly. It looks like he might have to work harder to ensure his Grandfather’s safety. His Grandfather would be leaving for work soon, and normally Armin would stay with the Yeager’s but not anymore – also Armin would sneak into his Grandfather’s chest of draws. That is where his Grandfather would hide all the information about the outside world.

“If you don’t want to go to the Yeager’s home tonight, then will you be alright by yourself?”

Nodding his head, Armin grinned widely, “Yep! I’ll be fine, Grandpa. I wish I was old enough to work too! I could earn enough money for us to live somewhere nicer.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.”

But he did.

“Um…Grandpa?”

Armin watched as the old man began to prepare for work. He frowned, wishing his Grandfather would stay with him instead but Armin’s been unwell which meant his Grandfather had to take a few days off for him. He had to go back to work or they wouldn’t be paid for this week.

“Yes?”

Clocking his head, Armin chewed his bottom lip, “You were in the military once, right?”

“Er, why do you ask?”

“I’m just…curious, which one was you apart off?”

The old man ruffled his short blonde hair, “Don’t you worry about that.”

Armin sighed. He followed his Grandfather around the tiny hut, watching him in silent as his Grandfather gathered his items for work. He trailed slowly, frowning deeply – his Grandfather was to old to be doing this. To old to be working, it wasn’t far he had too. Armin wished he was old enough to take care of him.

Why did he have to wake up ten years old? Why not older? Why not twelve? At twelve, Armin was sure he could have found something he could have earned money for. He wanted to help out.

“Grandpa, be safe out there.”

“You’re being very strange,” the old man commented, “Maybe you’re still a little unwell. Rest up tonight, alright? I’ll be home before sunrise.”

Armin swayed side to side, arms behind his back. He smiled, “I’m alright, Grandpa. I just want you to be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Chuckling, the old man nodded, “Alright. I will. Here is 100 cents for you to go to the market and grab something to eat for tonight.”

He felt quite guilty as he took the money. Armin peeked down at the few coins with a twitchy frown. That’s right, normally Carla would feed him. He guessed he would have to rely on his Grandfather for this. He winced at the realization.

“I’m sorry.”

His Grandfather clocked his head, “Why are you apologizing?”

“Because I’m making you spend money…”

“Armin, this is what the money is for,” the older man said, “I earn money to take care of you. It doesn’t matter if you go share a meal with your friends or not, I will always have more then enough money for you.”

Armin nodded at that. He wasn’t completely convinced. He will have to start looking at something else, other cheap foods to fill himself with. Armin’s sure there’s some food he could eat that’s incredibly cheap but just…gross. He can make it work if he wants them to move out of the Shiganshina District. 

“Don’t worry Grandpa! I’ll begin to budget cut! We’ll save money now that I don’t friends anymore!”

The old man gave him a concerned look, “Alright Armin. Be careful, alright?”

“I will Grandpa!”

Armin waited until the man was gone before relaxing. His face darkened with a deep sigh. It was strange, but he’ll figure it out. Pocketing the coins, Armin walked around the small hut thoughtfully. They could probably sell most of the junk gathering dust in the hut. Sure, they wouldn’t get a lot for it, but it would be enough all together.

He grabbed a piece of paper, and began to make a list. Once Armin was somewhat pleased with his list, he carefully slid it into his Grandfather’s top draw – he knew the old man would see it. He hoped he would consider the list.

With that done, Armin prepared to visit the market. 100 cents isn’t a lot, but he normally he could get a loath of bread for that. However, he’s sure he could get a couple of cruddy items instead and have enough left over.

Pulling on his blue cardigan, Armin stepped outside the hut. His eyes immediately going to wall with a frown. Armin walked slowly, his eyes gazing at the wall thoughtfully. To think some spirit girl was the reason for it’s creations. There still many questions around that, like where did the parasite that gave the girl the power to transform into a Titan come from? Was there something behind her, something much more powerful pulling the strings?

Ah, no-no-no.

Armin didn’t want to think about that. He didn’t want to start theorizing, not this time. Armin wasn’t going to allow himself to get that involved again. If he can avoid fighting Bertholdt, and being forced to take the Colosseum Titan curse.

He wanted to live.

Ripping his eyes away from the walls, Armin tried to focus on now. He was given the opportunity relive and Armin didn’t want to waste it. He was going to find away to live, to appreciate life away from the war. Sure, he’ll fight a little on the sides, but he won’t dive into it again.

Not like before. Not when he gets betrayed.

Armin shot all the different memoires of different life times down quickly. He ignored them and instead watched other people around him. Somebody was trying to sell warned out fabric, somebody else was trying to sell beaten up furniture. Armin knew the junk back at the hut was in a better condition.

Suddenly a strong force was delivered to his back.

He let out a startled yelp, following forward. His face hit the ground painfully, and when Armin went to push himself up, a hand shoved his face back down. Familiar laughter began to echo around him, snickering and teasing him.

“You’re so pathetic!”

More laughter echoed around him. A lone bird moved above them Armin grunted. He already knew what was happening. Already knew why he was shoved to the ground, his face being shoved into the dirt by the older boys.

“Look how weak he is!”

“He smells gross too! Like spoiled pie on a hot summers day!”

Lies.

It was just lies to shove Armin down. To make him cry. Before, Armin would have. In the past, his eyes would immediately fill with hot and angry tears, and his face would tighten up as if he had eaten something sour. But this time, he didn’t.

“That’s not true,” he groaned, “Get off me.”

The other kids laughed more, “Look! He’s trying to fight back! What’s wrong Armin? Lost your apathetic knights? They always came running to protect you!”

“No, they just liked to fight.”

It was true. Eren only ever leaped into the bulling because he got to fight. Mikasa only came if Eren was fighting, otherwise she didn’t bother. Of course she didn’t.

“Ooooo! You smell worse than manure!”

Armin grumbled. He finally twisted himself from underneath the plump-shaped boy and climbed to his feet. His poor weak body shook from pain, and tried to stretch the aches away. He turned to face the three other boys, his bullies.

“Leave me alone.”

One of the boys nudged their friend, “Is the pipsqueak really fighting back?”

“Ha! In your dreams!”

One of the other boys reached into his pocket, and stole his money. Armin gasped, and tried to leap at the boy, but before Armin could say anything, the lanky boy grabbed him by his cardigan. Armin let out a breathless cry as he was shoved into one of the building walls. He grunted his back cracked against the concrete.

“Ew! You reek! It’s fusty and musty! Disgusting!”

“Get off!” Armin huffed, trying to kick the guy holding him there, “Give me my money back! I need it!”

The other boys snickered, “Oh, he’s like a disgusting puppy! Flaring about!”

Armin frowned deeply, “Let go!”

The boy holding him sneered. He twisted his hand up, beginning to form a fist. He looked like he was preparing to strike Armin in the face, and the blonde turned his head, eyes crushing shut as he waited for the punch.

Only it never game.

Within one second later, Armin opened his eyes in time to see somebody tackle the boy holding. He stumbled backward, almost sliding down the wall as he snapped his head around in time to see Eren shoving the boy to the ground.

“Looks like you turned up to save the princess!”

“Shut your mouth!”

Armin frowned. He sighed deeply as Eren delivered a strong punch to the boys face. He wasn’t going to jump in and drag Eren away. It wasn’t he responsibility anymore, besides he would be blamed for it. He was always blamed if Eren was beaten up, even if Armin was just as battered as him.

He sunk backward, and stood up straight. Armin simply stared with half-lidded eyes, before finally, the group of boys ran off with laughter trailing after them.

Eren whipped the blood from his mouth and scuffed, “That’s right! Run away! You damn wusses!”

The brunette swallowed the mouthful of blood, and turned around to face Armin. He shifted himself, approaching the blonde and stretched out a bruised hand to him.

He grinned widely, “Are you alright? They didn’t hurt you, right?”

“No.”

“That’s good. I’m proud of you, for trying to stand up for yourself. It’s about time you started to fight back.”

Armin closed his eyes and turned away, “I don’t need your praise.”

Hand dropping, Eren frowned, “You’re still mad at me?”

“I’m not mad.”

“But you are!”

Armin shook his head, and began to walk away.

“Armin!” Eren rushed after him, “Here, I was able to snatch your money back.”

That made Armin stop. He turned back around, taking his ex-friend by surprise. Eren almost ran straight into him but was able to stop himself in time. He jerked backward, and smiled widely, holding his hand out.

“See! I was able to get back!”

Armin peered down at the coins, holding his hands together to catch the money. Okay, so he was a little grateful for Eren to ‘save’ him again. Ahhh! Armin just realized why Eren always jumped in, it’s so Armin would stroke his ego.

Eren was so brave. Leaping in to save the weak, little mousy boy, huh?

“Thanks.”

Clocking his head, Eren pinched his lips, “Um, what are you doing? Ah, that’s stupid. You’re going to the market, but I mean…are you coming over tonight? Mum’s making stew, and we’d like to, er, have you. You know, Mum’s been missing you and all that.”

Pocketing his money, Armin began to walk away again. He did miss Carla, he guessed. She had always been so kind to him, and had became like a mother to him in many ways. It would probably be the only regret he would have, trying to save her from death. But would she believe him? He was a kid with an overactive imaginary, she probably would brush him off like his Grandfather did – nightmares.

“No thank you,” Armin said blankly, “I’m staying home tonight.”

“Oh,” Eren almost sounded sad, “Well that’s okay. It’s probably for the best, you have been rather unwell all week.”

“Sure.”

Eren trailed after him. Armin almost forgot he was behind him, as he shopped the stalls of food. Meat was a definite nope. It was to expensive, and Armin’s little 100 cents wouldn’t be able to cover a single chop. So he went straight to vegetable stand, scanning the vegetables with a goal in mind.

The most cheapest vegetables was there.

Brussel Sprouts were the cheapest. Armin grabbed some of those, they didn’t really taste like anything but eat enough, it’ll fill the stomach. He grabbed eggplant too.

“You…You like that stuff?”

Right. Eren was still there.

“I’m budgeting.”

“Oh.”

Finally, Armin was finished with the cheapest vegetables he could basket. It wasn’t a lot, but more then what he would normally buy for 100 cents. He could make something with it, maybe even a weird vegetable stew?

“Don’t you want bread?”

“No, I am budgeting.”

Eren nodded, following after the blonde.

Armin sighed, “Please stop following me.”

“What?”

He turned towards the brunette, “I said, please stop follow me around.”

“But Armin-“

“No, I don’t want you follow me anymore.”

Eren winced, “But I haven’t seen you all week.”

“So?”

“Armin! Why are you being so difficult! You are mad at me!”

“I told you I am not!”

The brunette shook his head, reaching to grab Armin’s shoulders, “What did I do?”

“Don’t!”

Before Eren could reply, a familiar voice called out. Feet came rushing in their direction, and Armin sighed again, already knowing the blame that would be coming his way. Before, he wouldn’t have noticed and would have taken the brute of it with a smile. Now, Armin could see the patterns.

“Eren, why did you run off-“

Eren growled, snatching his arm out of the girl’s hand, “Stop it! You’re not my sister! I don’t have to tell you everything!”

“You’re all beaten up,” Mikasa frowned, her grey eyes running up and down Eren, “You have been in a fight.”

Of course. She only cared about Eren.

“Mikasa-“

Now Mikasa turned her attention to Armin. Unlike when she was looking at Eren, the soft – tender look in her stormy eyes changed and became more harsher.

“Armin, why did you let him-“

“It’s not my fault,” Armin quickly interrupted, “He isn’t my responsibility, Mikasa. I can’t control him, he has his own thoughts and feelings. Eren’s a big boy, he can make up his own decisions.”

Mikasa’s eyes widened in surprise, “What?”

“No,” Armin huffed, “Do not blame me for this. I didn’t ask him to fight my bullies, he just decided to jump into the fight. You know as well as I do, Eren just likes to fight.”

Armin stepped back, “Not my fault.”

Eren’s face changed, “Armin?”

The girl stared back at the blonde, the look on her face was unreadable. After a good minute of the three just staring at one another, she nodded. Her grey eyes slid shut, and she bowed her head.

“Yes, you are right,” she said, “Eren is my responsibility.”

Eren bristled, “No I’m not! I don’t need you to be my baby sitter! I can go wherever I want! And I don’t always want you following me!”

“Eren,” Mikasa grunted.

Armin tilted his body, holding the bag close to himself and twirled around. He turned on the hill of his foot and walked away. Normally, he would have stayed with them, listening and trying help as the two fought. Armin would have always slid between the two, and tried to calm both of them down.

Mikasa being too overbearing, and suffocating Eren. Eren bristling like a cat, and fighting against her hold. Armin would try to calm them, try to make sure both was happy while neither tried to make him happy. It was ridiculous.

He walked away, without either realizing.

It was just to tired to deal with this.

Mikasa should learn to give Eren space, maybe then he would be so chaotic. And Eren should learn to be mindful of Mikasa’s fears. Mikasa was just worried Eren would get hurt.

Armin had already been there and done that.

~#~#~#~

The blonde woke up with a sore back. He had fallen asleep at the table last night, he had spent most of the night writing down what he remembered. It was difficult and confusing, as he kept getting certain actions mixed up between the other past lives. The only thing he truly wrote down with confidence was the timeline of what happened. Everything always happened in the same order, all the time.

Armin yawned and stretched his arms above his head. He was ashamed to admit he was so picky before. Always causing trouble for his Grandfather with his eating issues. He wasn’t going to be like that anymore, he’ll eat what he is given – he is able to cook too. Armin could prepare meals for his Grandfather.

“You’re still awake?”

Armin smiled widely, “I just woke up.”

His Grandfather smiled, “Were you alright by yourself?”

“I was,” Armin nodded, walking towards the old oven they owned, “Look, I made vegetable stew.”

“You cooked?” his Grandfather asked, “You’re so young Armin. I don’t want you to burn yourself.”

Armin shook his head, “It’s alright. It’s alright. I made stew, and I know how to wrap it up so it won’t go mouldy. I made it out of the cheapest vegetables, um, eggplant, Brussel sprouts, broccoli and asparagus. It doesn’t taste of much, but it’ll keep for today and fill our stomachs.”

“You’ve been studying on budgeting?”

“Yeah! I want to save money.”

The old man shook his head in amusement. He turned Armin towards him, and crouched down in front of him, placing his wrinkling hands onto his shoulders, “Armin. I appreciate everything you’re doing. I understand, you must be very worried about our living situation, but you do not have to worry.”

“Grandpa-“

“Armin. You’re ten. You’re only ten years old, you should be outside and running around with Eren and Mikasa. Having fun. Not worry about working, money or food. Those are my responsibility.”

Armin’s nose scrunched up, “No Grandpa. I’m old enough to think about it. To plan it out.”

“Listen, my grandson, I’m dealing with it. You just be you, go have fun outside.”

“No,” Armin frowned, “I won’t. I’m going to help out. I don’t need to have fun, I need to make sure you won’t die.”

His Grandfather’s face changed, “Armin, it was just a nightmare. I’m not going to die-“

“You are!”

Armin panted softly. He shuffled his feet, and looked down, “You…You will die. If we stay in Shiganshina District, you’ll die. We need to go to Wall Rose, because you will be safer there.”

“I’m fine-“

“Grandpa!” Armin whined, “I’m serious!”

Smiling wearily, his Grandfather ruffled his blonde hair, “Alright. If it means that much to you, you can help out. You can focus on the food, but only that. You still have to go out and fun with your friends.”

“I don’t have friends, Grandpa.”

“Armin…”

Armin shook his head seriously, “Grandpa, I’m not friends with Eren or Mikasa anymore. They don’t care about me, but don’t worry. I’ll still go outside for fresh air.”

His Grandfather opened his mouth, as if he was about to give Armin a long lecture but he was cut off by a knock at the door. He stood up immediately, turning towards the wooden door in thought.

“Who would knock on our door this early?” Armin asked.

The old man chuckled, patting him on the end, “You’re growing up too fast, Armin.”

Armin beamed happily.

He followed his Grandfather towards the door. Clocking his head to look around his beloved Grandfather, watching as the older man opened the door to reveal two people outside. One was a woman and the other was a young boy.

Armin’s eyes widened and then twitched. He raised his hands to clench onto his Grandfather’s shirt.

“Oh, hello Carla. What do I owe the honour to?”

The woman smiled sweetly, her warm eyes glowing, “Sorry to disturb you, but Eren’s really upset.”

“I see. Is there anything we can help with?”

Armin stared up at Carla thoughtfully. It’s been a very long time since he had seen her. He really did, in fact, miss her. Her brown hair was long, and tied by a ribbon. Her eyes sparkled with that motherly charm. She stood with her back straight and arms laid in front of her. He pinched his lips, and lowered his eyes, meeting the blazing green ones staring at him.

“Eren?” Carla began, looking down at her son, “Is there something you’d like to say?”

Eren looked back up, only now did Armin notice a strange redness to his eyes. Something he hadn’t seen before. When Carla nodded encouragingly, Eren inhaled sharply and stepped out from her hip. He stepped in front of Armin and his Grandfather.

The brunette pressed his arms to his sides, and straightened himself to the best of his abilities. He bowed down low.

“I’m really sorry!”

Armin blinked, “Huh?”

“I’m really sorry for upsetting you, Armin. Please forgive me. I want us to be friends again.”

Oh.

His Grandfather pressed a gentle hand to Armin’s shoulder, “Don’t you have something you’d like to say, Armin?”

Armin looked up at him with a frown. Didn’t he just tell the old man he wasn’t friends with Eren anymore? It was so ironic that it was only Eren coming to hut, and not Mikasa. It seems he was right, she didn’t care.

“Armin,” Carla began gently. She smiled when Armin looked up at her, “Eren’s really upset about your fight. He misses you a lot and has been wanting to see you, we’ve been worried about your high fever.”

Eren nodded dumbly.

His Grandfather lightly probed him forward. Armin frowned, looking back him – the man only nodded for him to what? Oh, make up with his ex-friend. Why? Armin didn’t need too, or want too.

“Okay,” Armin said, looking back at the brunette, “Er, okay, I forgive you.”

Eren beamed. His body jolted upward, his head spun around to look up at his mother. Carla smiled in return, nodding her head back him.

“But we’re not friends.”

The brunette froze. He turned back to Armin in shock, “Why not?”

“Cause we’re not.”

Eren bit his bottom lip, “But Armin…you’re my best friend. I don’t know what I did, but I’m really sorry. Please don’t say that.”

“I know you’re sorry,” Armin shrugged, “But friends don’t stay together forever. They eventually grow apart.”

Eyebrows creasing, Eren made a sound, “I don’t understand. We’re not growing apart.”

“We are.”

“We’re not!”

Armin sighed, “I don’t want to fight with you. I have more important things to worry about then a silly friendship that won’t last.”

“How can you say that?” Eren cried, “Our friendship isn’t silly, and how would you know it won’t last?”

“I just know.”

“How! You can’t just tell me our friendship is over with a stupid excuse like that!”

Armin bristled himself, “Why can’t you just accept things? Why do you always have to turn everything in a stupid fight? Why can’t you just accept this friendship is over!”

“Because you’re being dumb!” Eren snapped, “You can’t say our friendship won’t last!”

“You want to know why it won’t last? Because you’ll ditch me! You’ll fall in love and run away!”

Eren stepped closer, “No I won’t! I won’t run away, I’ve never run away!”

“You will!”

“No I won’t!”

Armin huffed loudly, “It doesn’t matter if you will or not! I’m done with this fake friendship! I’m not friends with you or Mikasa! So just leave me alone!”

“Go away! We’re not friends anymore!”

Eren opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Instead, he twisted his lips together into a thick arch. His green eyes misted up, as if he was about to cry which was silly. Eren would never really cry over Armin. Armin was just a prop, just something he needs to make his ego grow. To make himself feel better.

“I-I…Fine! Be that way, Armin! I don’t care! I hated you anyway!”

With that, Eren spun around and raced away. His head was ducked and arms bumping.

“Eren!”

Carla rushed after her son, leaving the Alert hut behind.

Armin stood still, staring blankly through the open doorway. His eyes unmoved, as he stayed still. It was strange. This was what he wanted, he wasn’t friends with Eren anymore. But it hurt. His chest ached, he had never heard Eren say that to him before.

Eren had never said he hated him before.

“Are you alright Armin?”

Armin hummed, “Yeah. I’m alright.”

It was for the best anyway.

~#~#~#~

It’s been a full month.

Armin had been doing his very best to help out, even going as far as doing little errands for the neighbours. Strangely, there was many things he could do to earn a little money, turns out after the first few attempts, the adults around their street just couldn’t say no. Armin quickly realized he was cute, and used that to his advantage. With one adorable smile, Armin found himself running up and down through the district. Giving people their letters, or taking a large package to another house, many times he was asked to help a kid find a lost toy, or just to clean out the house.

They were really just boring jobs that the adults couldn’t be bothered to do. They were all to happy to hurl them off to somebody else, even if that person was a kid. Armin was earning five cents every time he completed one of the jobs.

Armin was impressed with himself. He was quickly, okay, well slowly working towards moving his Grandfather out of the Shiganshina District before the walls was breached.

He could do this.

Still the question of what he should do after that was there. Should he still join the military, go through those three years of training? He would see everyone again. Sasha, Connie, Jean and…Marco. He would get to see Marco! And maybe he could save him this time! Stop Reiner, Berthelot and Annie from killing him.

Okay, so that answered that. He’ll still join the military to save Marco…

His Grandfather was very good at avoiding his questions about his time in the military. Why wouldn’t he just tell him what section he was in?

Clicking his tongue, Armin walked along the street back from the market. He checked his bag of vegetables thoughtfully. Like always, he brought Brussel Sprouts, Broccoli, Asparagus, Eggplant, but also he brought Cauliflower and Beets.

With a sigh, Armin came to a stop.

“Stop following me.”

Eren frowned, “I wasn’t.”

“Yes you were.”

The brunette made a sound at that, kicking at the ground with his arms behind his back. It took Armin a moment before he noticed Mikasa trailing behind. This time, when he looked at her, she looked away.

Why? She had always stared him down in the past. What’s so different now?

“Maybe I was,” Eren shrugged, “Or maybe we’re just walking in the same direction.”

Armin raised an eyebrow at that, “You don’t like shopping. Your Mum goes shopping by herself.”

“Er, Mikasa sometimes goes too…”

The blonde shrugged, turning away and walking onward. He decided it was useless to continue to talk to the brunette. It was useless. They just kept going around in circles. Now that Armin thought about it, he hadn’t seen the brunette all month. Eren must have been stubborn and was expecting Armin to come crawling back, when he realized Armin wasn’t going too…he must have swallowed his pride.

“Hey, wait up!”

Armin doesn’t stop walking. Doesn’t even pay the brunette any attention as he went, especially when Eren rushed to his side to walk next to him. Mikasa, like the loyal guard dog she was, followed behind them.

It was frustrating. He thought he was finally beginning to walk a new path. He couldn’t have Eren pull him back into that hell hole. Armin wants to make his own pathway now.

“You know…I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Hm?”

“Last month,” Eren said quietly, “When I said, um…that I hated you. I don’t at all. I like you.”

Armin nodded, “I know.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

Eren frowned, “Well if that’s the case, then why are you being so weird?”

“I’m not,” Armin sighed, “I’m thinking of my future.”

“…and you don’t want me to be apart off it?”

“Yep.”

Eren winced, “That’s…mean, even for you Armin.”

“I know.”

The brunette stopped, his head lowering, “I don’t know what I did to make you hate me so much…but I hope you know, I really am sorry.”

Glancing back at him briefly, Armin clicked his tongue. He didn’t want to be so harsh, but it had to be like this. He had to separate himself from Eren. Armin didn’t want that future. None of them. Besides, it is not like it matters. Eren and Mikasa will run away, leaving him behind to face Marley, or Eren will hate him anyway, and fight him head on – killing him.

Armin didn’t want to go through that again. Ever.

He wanted something different.

He wished he could tell Eren the truth, about his feelings…but he’s sure the brunette wouldn’t care. So he simply shrugged at the boy. Armin willed his face to stay unchanged, willed himself to simply stare back at Eren with indifference.

This doesn’t change anything.

“Eren, our friendship is over. It’s time to move on now.”

The other flinched.

Just as Armin was about to walk away, he stopped.

“Listen…Eren…”

The brunette’s head snapped up, looking at Armin hopefully.

“You should…try to confidence your family to leave.”

“Leave?”

“Um…Shiganshina District, it’s bad. Eren, really bad. You should try to get out.

He had tried to warn them. He knew it wasn’t enough, but…Armin didn’t know. He couldn’t think straight. He just didn’t want his Grandfather to die. He wished he could save Carla too. Eren might have not understood what Armin was hopefully alluring too, but maybe Mikasa will.

“If you don’t leave, it’ll drag you down…”

Armin turned around, and walked away. A heated wave ran up his back, running up to his ears. This time, Eren didn’t call after him, didn’t ask him to stop and didn’t run after him. Was this really it? Was it really over? His eyes misted up, but he did not cry.

No, Armin smiled pitifully. He was taking his future in his own hands, and building a new dream.

A dream that was just his own, that was for him. Putting himself in front of everyone but his Grandfather.

A future and dream that didn’t involve Eren Yeager or Mikasa Ackerman.

~#~#~#~

Despite walking away from Eren, the boy was all Armin suddenly could think about. All the happy memoires he had, in all his lifes. The times he generally thought the brunette cared for him, before Eren ran away and left him behind, before Eren decided destroying everyone was the right decision, all the times Eren had held his hand. All the times Eren had held him when Armin had a nightmare. All the times Eren had rubbed his back, or tended a injury Armin had tried to hide.

It was shocking really. It hurt because of Armin’s feelings.

Now, he was given another chance to find a new dream. A new happiness, a new dream for himself. Himself only, one he could share with himself alone. Seeing the ocean, seeing the world outside was just that. A childhood fantasy or a old dream of his. One that he had been excited about alone, before he had seen it.

Eren wasn’t excited about it. It was a lie.

Walking away from Eren, walking away from their friendship was hurtful. It took all his strength and energy to just walk away from that.

But it had to be done.

Armin had to live for himself, and not people who would drop him the first chance they get.

So, Armin throw himself into his odd jobs. Earning as much little change as possible, pulling in as much as possible and dropping the coins into the dirty jar. A whole year had went by, and before he knew it, the jar was overflowing with coins.

“Let’s see…”

“Is it enough!”

The now eleven year old boy was jittering with excitement. His blue eyes glowing widely, his lips curling into a wide smile.

“Is it? Grandpa? Have we got enough?”

The old man chuckled, tapping his fingers on the wooden table, “535 pounds. That’s very impressive, Armin.”

“535?” Armin quickly became downcast, “That’s all? I seriously thought I had saved more than that.”

“You earned quite a bit for a boy your age,” his Grandfather said, patting him on the head, “Don’t sell yourself so short. You’ve done very well, maybe you could spend it on a few books you want?”

Armin shook his head, “No! It’s so we can leave Shiganshina District! I’m sorry Grandpa, I let you down…”

The old man made a soft sound, putting the jar down. He turned from the table, and climbed to his feet. He crossed the small kitchen, pulling the top draw open and taking out a faded envelope out.

“Maybe not on it’s own, but with this…we could.”

Armin perked up, “Really?”

“After what happened last year, with your big speech about wanting us to move to a better place…you truly touched my heart. I have a good grandson. I began to put a little to the side every time I got paid.”

The blonde sniffled, smiling hopefully, “So…we can leave?”

“If you really want too?”

Armin eagerly nodded. Berthelot would breach the wall in two years, and thousands of people would die. Carla would, many innocent people would, and the ones who escape to Wall Rose…there would be too many people. The King, the selfish King who wasn’t supposed to be sitting on the throne, didn’t like he suddenly had to support all these extra mouths.

The damn King claimed it was for hope. To reclaim wall Maria, but it wasn’t. It was so he didn’t have give money out. His already so ‘charitable’ donation to the survives was already enough, to make him look good in the snobs up in wall Sheena. Any more, he didn’t like.

So he sent out many weak people. Retired Military people, old people, sick people, he didn’t care. Only the people who were expected was children. Kids under the age of sixteen.

The Survey Corps was out on a mission when the wall was breach. How odd they would be out on a mission again, when wall Maria would be breached. But for now, Armin could only do so much. He was just a child.

“Yes.”

His Grandfather nodded, “I’ve been able transfer up to the Krolva District. We will have sacrifice a little more money then normally to live there, but it is doable.”

“It is?”

“With the money you have saved up, we can put a down payment on the house to the King.”

Armin nodded, “Yes Grandpa. That’s what I want.”

“When did you get so grown up.”

Armin beamed in return.

He was doing it. He was really doing it.

The blonde had finally found a way out of Shiganshina District. Was stopping his Grandfather from being killed. Armin moved off the stool to hug the old man, burying his face into his chest. The old man patted him on the back.

The only regret he had was not being able to save the rest of the District. He was a child. He was eleven years old now. Nobody would believe him. Everyone had grown use to the ‘peaceful’ times from behind the wall, they would easily brush Armin aside as a sick-minded child that needed help.

Armin couldn’t do that to his Grandfather. He couldn’t put him through that.

They were gong to move to the Krolva District. Armin’s never gone to Krolva District, he didn’t know what it would be like. As far as he knew, Armin didn’t know anybody who came from there either. He hoped his Grandfather would be happy there.

Later that day, while his Grandfather was finishing up his last work day, Armin was walking along the busy pavement. He swung his arms back and forth, humming to himself. His eyes twirling upward to look up at the clear sky. It was sunny, and cloudless. He clicked his tongue in thought.

Armin sighed. Would it be enough?

The walls will be breached soon enough, and titans will invade the lands. People will die, and more people in the future will lose their lifes. Armin knew what was going to come, and what was he doing? Running away? He was trying to save his Grandfather, but he knew…when he turns thirteen years old, he will go into the military and try to help people another way.

If he thinks this clearly, he could come up with a plan.

His journal last year was sealed up, and thrown to the bottom of bag. Filled with everything he remembered, from all his lifes, of all the things that was going to happen. Maybe he could donate anonymously to the military. To the Survey Corps? To Commander Erwin, or Levi, or Hange.

But the biggest question would be: would they believe them? Probably not. The likely hood of them burning the book, throwing it out or just casting it side was high.

Armin was struggling to come up with a good enough plan.

People were going to die one way or another. Shiganshina District is going to be breached, and that will be the start of everything.

“Armin!”

He jerked, breaking out of his thoughts from the sudden voice. His eyes grow wide, it had been a whole year since he heard that voice. He jolted, turning around with his heart beating heavily.

“Eren?”

The brunette came to a stop in front of him. He slouched over, hands gripping his knees as he panted. Breathing deeply, sweat dripping along his tan skin.

“Is it true?”

Armin tilted his head, “Is what true?”

“Are you leaving!”

Eren shoot up, he stomped straight up to Armin and grabbed his shoulders. He shook the blonde, “Are you really leaving Shiganshina District? I overheard my parents talking about it! They said you and your Grandfather are moving to wall Rose! Is it true!”

“Why do you care?”

The brunette paused, his eyes narrowing almost darkly, “Why do I care? Why do I care? Armin! Listen to yourself! Of course I care! You’re my best friend!”

“No I’m not. We haven’t been friends for a year.”

“Why didn’t you tell me!” Eren shouted, “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to leave me?”

Armin blinked at the odd choice of words, “I’m not leaving _you_ , I’m leaving this soul-sucking place.”

“Why!”

“What do you mean why?” Armin grunted, trying to pry the fingers off. It was beginning to hurt, “Isn’t obvious? I’m getting the hell out of here.”

Eren’s face darkened. He wasn’t even fazed when Armin cursed. Instead he tightened his grip, dragging the blonde closer to him.

“Why! Why! Why!” Eren repeated, shaking the blonde, “Why do you hate me so much!”

“I don’t hate you!”

“You have a funny way of showing it!”

Armin hissed, “I don’t hate you, you idiot! I love you!”

“Er-“

It took Armin a moment to realize what he said. His face darkened, and he yanked himself free from the brunette’s claws. He pulled at his sweater with a pout.

“You…I don’t get it? You love me? I love you too, but why was you so mean last year?”

Armin sighed, “No Eren. It’s different. You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“When I’m older, huh? Okay fine, nevermind that then,” Eren grumbled, “Tell me why you hate Shiganshina District so much?”

Eren followed after the blonde as he tried to back paddle. Armin’s back hit the wall, and Eren immediately leaped onto him, caging Armin with his arms. His eyes narrowed into a heated glare.

“Why do you hate Shiganshina District? You liked it before!”

Armin tried to shove the brunette away, pushing against Eren’s chest, “I don’t have to explain anything to you! Now leave me alone!”

“If you seriously _love_ me, you’ll tell me why you’re leaving me!”

The blonde growled, spinning back to face the brunette, “I am not leaving _you_! I am leaving Shiganshina!”

“Why!”

“Because people are going to die!”

Eren paused. He stared back at Armin for a good moment, before his body relaxed. He eased himself back, looking up at the clear sky for a few moment.

“You dreamt it too?”

Armin felt a cold chill run through him. Wait, wait, wait. Was Eren…did Eren remember? Did he remember all the choices he made? All the pain and suffering he would cause? Did he remember loving Mikasa and running away? Did remember leaving Armin behind in so many different ways, in so many different live times? Did he remember choosing to kill everyone?

Did Eren remember?

“I had this dream, a while back…” Eren began, “I dreamt the walls were breached by titans. That they entered the Shiganshina District, and was killing people. Eating people…I dreamt my Mum was eaten alive too…”

Armin flinched, “So you do-“

“I thought it was just a dream,” Eren said, looking back at Armin with a tender look in his eyes, “But you had it too? That’s why you’re leaving? To save your Grandfather from dying?”

Oh.

Oh…Eren only remembered that?

“Yes.”

Eren bit his bottom lip, and nodded, “I get it, but that doesn’t mean our friendship should be over-“

“No, it’s more than that.”

“It is?”

Armin nodded, “I know what will happen in the future. You won’t understand my words now, Eren, but in the future you will.”

“I don-“

“You’ll leave me behind. You’ll pick somebody else over me, and ditch me. You won’t even tell me why, you’ll just leave. You’ll break my heart over and over again, cause I love you. I don’t want to feel that. I want to make my own dreams, and my own future.”

Eren’s eyebrows knitted, “I wouldn’t pick anybody over you. At all, Armin. You have to believe me. You’ll always be my number one.”

“That’s a nice thought,” Armin smiled, “But you will. I know you will. I’ll be left behind, to die.”

Shaking his head, Eren rushed up to Armin. He grabbed his hands tightly, “I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t. You don’t have to really leave me, we can be friends again, we can send letters through the Districts-“

“You’re not going to try to make your family leave?”

“Oh…” Eren paused, looking off to the side, “I’ve tried, especially when I heard you were leaving too…but my Mum said it was just a dream.”

Armin nodded. Understandable. He hadn’t told his Grandfather either…

“Armin-“

“This is goodbye, Eren.”

“No.”

Armin smiled, “We’re going to part ways now.”

Eren frowned.

“These things happen. Friends grow apart and go their separate ways. We’re…we have to make our own ways away from one another. It’ll be better this way.”

“…I don’t believe you.”

Armin shrugged, “That’s up to you, I guess. I think it’ll be what we’ll need.”

“No it isn’t. We need to stay together.”

“It’ll only hurt us in the future.”

“Someday I’ll prove it to you.”

Armin swallowed thickly, “Maybe…”

Eren sheepishly looked down. His eyes moving back and forth before, he stretched forward. Suddenly he pressed a quick kiss to Armin’s cheek.

“This isn’t over, Armin…not even close.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading. i hope you enjoyed it. please leave a comment to let me know what you think. this is a test chapter! it depends on if i get any comments due to never being very confident in my writing! so please leave a comment!
> 
> i love armin! hope you enjoyed! ahhh
> 
> basically, armin never showed eren the book. he never talked excitedly about the outside world, so eren never thought about behind the walls. he never saw the look in armin's eyes, and never realized 'he could never be truly free'. instead eren became obsessed with the armin's love confession, why armin pulled away, armin 'running away' and well...being left behind.
> 
> that's what this story will be about. there will be other things too thrown in. and who let armin remember everything?
> 
> just so you know, this isn't 'armin is a adult in his kid body'. it is supposed to be 'armin is a kid with memories of the future' he's struggling to make sense of it, and make a plan. sorry if his thinking is all over the place. i did that on purpose! so people would believe armin is still a child for now. he'll grow up like normally, no sexy times will happen until he is older haha. not sure when, maybe after they leave the training and joing ranks?
> 
> will armin join the corps? i have another idea for him!


	2. Broken Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin is settling into his new life in the Krolva District. He is learning many things, and finding out his Grandfather has many connections. How many does he have? What else is he hiding? He has many questions. Many. In the past worlds, timelines, Armin never realized how connected his Grandfather. With the book and papers about the outside world, what else is he hiding? 
> 
> Just as Armin becomes used to his new life - through he is struggling with loneliness. He is reminded of the truth, and the lie shatters as Wall Maria falls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh whoa! i cannot believe how many of you read this! all the comments! the kudos! the bookmarks! you guys, you really made me cry. i wasn't expecting anybody to read it, let alone like it. thank you so-so-so much! really, it means a lot to me. i get so excited whenever i read your comments. 
> 
> \- armin remembers not just eren and mikasa leaving him behind, he remembers ALL the different worlds where they left him. they left him behind in other ways during the timeline. i had a comment who seemed to think it was just that. no it wasn't. mikasa has made armin die, and so has eren. they both had killed him many times and armin remembers it. 
> 
> \- the timeline is the same, but the characters will be making different decisions that will affect what happens. some things won't happen because armin, eren and mikasa would have decided to do something else. 
> 
> \- somebody really wanted me to write mikasa and armin having a real friendship (in time i guess?) or having mikasa generally care for him - i'll try but armin will be against it for some time. she did leave him to die many times and even caused his death. 
> 
> \- armin can't out run the past! 
> 
> \- lastly, i am debating playing with my favourite and i guess debunked theory? i hate that armin's a little...not important. i want to make him very-very important, so should i write one of the fandoms most favourite theories into the story? or keep it pretty much canon? let me know.
> 
> thank you sooooooo much! i have to be honest, i was half-dead yesterday. i wanted to get this out for you all when i saw the many-many comments, but i couldn't. i needed to sleep, so here it is today!
> 
> english is not my first language, so i hope this isn't too bad. i really can't wait to write more. this is a test chapter! it depends on if i get any comments due to never being very confident in my writing! so please leave a comment!
> 
> enjoy

Leaving Shiganshina was…Armin could never explain the feeling of entering wall Rose. Looking up at said wall, he was amazed at how high it was. It was different to before, he was much younger, much smaller, so looking up at it…

He was tiny in comparison.

“Are you alright, Armin?”

The blonde arched his head back, his small hand gripping his Grandfather’s hand tightly. The two was standing in a busy line leading up to wall Rose’s gates. There was so many people. Armin could even see the selfish group of men try to push large containers through. The Garrison soldiers turning a blind eye on it.

“I’m…excited.”

His Grandfather smiled kindly, “Me too. We’re about to start a new chapter of our lives.”

“A new chapter,” Armin beamed, “I can’t wait.”

He had really done it. He was really saving his Grandfather. Armin had secured his safety, had made sure the old man wouldn’t be sentence to death. They were really leaving Shiganshina, leaving the death ground that it would become in two years time. He wondered if Eren had listened to him and was trying to do something to save his family? Eren had a dream too, strangely.

Armin shook his head, willing himself not to think about Eren. He never wanted to think about the brunette ever again. He had heal himself, heal his heart, and soul. Eren and Mikasa had hurt him too many times.

“Papers.”

His Grandfather nodded, and handed the soldier the papers. The woman looked down at them, shuffling through them with her head nodding. She then sighed them, and handed them back.

“There is a 725 pound fee.”

“Of course.”

“Welcome to wall Rose. We hope you will enjoy your new living grounds.”

With that, the two Alerts were allowed through the gates. Armin tightened his hand around his Grandfather’s, the shadows of the gate spread over him as he stiffly walked at his Grandfather’s side. His head tilting backward to look up at the huge archway of the gate, it looked so smooth. It was scary to think Reiner would bash his way through with easy in two years…

Armin twisted his head, looking back over his shoulders. Shiganshina was getting smaller and smaller as he walked away from it. How strange, after everything he has gone through, all the hell Shiganshina had caused him…Armin felt a odd pinch of sadness.

“It’s alright to be sad, Armin.”

“Huh?”

His Grandfather smiled, “Shiganshina has been our home for eleven years. Longer for me. It’s alright to be sad, we can wave goodbye when we get onto the carriages.”

“It’s alright to be sad to see it go.”

“Yes,” the old man nodded, “But it’ll be alright. This isn’t goodbye, not really, we will see it again someday.”

“Yes Grandpa.”

They will see Shiganshina again? Armin knew that wasn’t true. It will be claimed by Titans, and it wouldn’t be until four years later humanity reclaims it. It would then be the fight grounds for one of the worse battles he would ever go through. The grounds where Armin would have died – he has died many times in Shiganshina, in all different ways.

Armin was happy to see it go. He hoped he has changed his life enough, his future enough, that he would not be one of the soldiers to return to it. Armin didn’t want to fight for that anymore…but what did he want to fight for? He still wasn’t sure.

The Krolva District was, quite frankly, beautiful.

Armin hadn’t been to the Krolva District before, only seen it once in all his lifetimes. It was so beautiful, how he had never seen it before or noticed the beauty. The bright sun made the lands glow with a warm gold, white flowers bloomed the ground, with a few trees. The further the old open wooden carriage went, the more Armin was able to see.

Vegetable fields. There was many of them. Armin could see the farmers working hard in the hot sun, pulling up potatoes, carrots and the lot. Armin watched as they went by, twisting his head until he no longer could see them.

Ah, so Krolva was a harvest District, before wall Maria was breached. What happened to stop the harvest in the District? Armin doesn’t remember there being such a large harvest District before…but then again, he was a young kid and he had a lot going on.

People dying, running from titans, Eren and Mikasa…this time, Armin was paying more attention to the things he would have overlooked before.

“Grandpa!” Armin gasped, spinning around to smile at the old man, “Will you be working out in the fields? Maybe I could get some sort of job helping out!”

The man smiled, ruffling his short blonde hair, “No exactly. I will be joining the labour work teams.”

“Labour work?”

“Helping to move in heavy equipment and such. You don’t need to worry about that, Armin,” he said, “When we move into our new home, I want you to go out and have some fun. The Krolva District is much more open, and wide. It’s not so clumped together like Shiganshina.”

Armin hummed, “I’ll think about it.”

“Armin.”

“Grandpa.”

The old man chuckled, “Fine. You’ll think about it, maybe try exploring. Our village is to the east of here. Close to the Trost District. I’m sure you’ll find something interesting around here.”

“I’ll explore a little, for you, Grandpa.”

“You’re such a good Grandson of mine.”

Armin beamed.

A few minutes later, and their carriage brought them into a small – but spread out village. Armin shifted, sitting up straight as he observed the new area. His eyes shimmering in awe as he took it all in.

The village was delicate and pleasant. Armin scanned his eyes in thought, it was a good place for his Grandfather to live out the rest of his days without worrying about the titans waiting to eat them.

Climbing off the carriage, Armin stared at the small house. It had three different doors attached to it, three different families lived in there? It was the first time Armin was seeing such a house before. He wondered who their neighbours would be?

“I got it!”

His Grandfather sighed with a small smile, “I’m old, but not that old.”

“You don’t have to worry!” Armin smiled, wrapping his thin arms around the box and hosting it, “I-I got it!”

“You sure?”

Armin nodded eagerly.

“Alright then.”

He followed after his Grandfather, walking up towards the left door closest to the apple tree. Armin stared at it as they walked past, how ironic. If he had pushed a little bit more, Armin could have made two relaxing years before it all went to shit. Krolva is so much better then Shiganshina. There was seriously a apple tree growing next to the house, but Armin bets it would cost money to pick a apple. It would probably cost a pretty coin to do anything, he wondered what the market would be like.

He supposed the Krolva District was like this all due to humanity hard work.

Any district would be better than Shiganshina – the poorest and most unkept district. Of course it would cost them way more then before to live here.

Armin had to find a way to earn money to help his Grandfather pay for it.

The house was cut into three sections. Armin and his Grandfather’s door was one level, which meant the next door neighbour was probably above him. It was very simple, with one kitchen and one bedroom. Similar to the house back in Shiganshina.

“You take the bed, Grandpa.”

“Armin, we’ve talked about this,” the old man said, “You’re just a child.”

Armin hummed happily, “Which means my back can handle a lump sofa. You take the bed, you have fragile bones.”

“Fragile?”

“Yeah, you’re almost ancient.”

The old man paused from looking through the box. He lifted his head to give his grandson a dry, amused look. However, within the next second, they both cracked matching smiles.

“Fine, fine.”

Armin smiled. Everyday, every passing minute, he was growing a back bone. So different to his other lives, where his back bone was a fish bone. He was finally standing up for him! And taking care of his beloved Grandfather. Armin was going to do everything possible to make sure his old man was safe, healthy and alive. Very-very-very alive indeed.

Armin was just tried of being alone.

He wanted to make sure his loved ones lived. That started with his beloved Grandfather.

“I’ll go get the last box!”

“Alright.”

They only had three boxes after all. They hardly have anything, as they sold most the junk laying around to afford to live out here. They had a few changing of clothes, a couple of books, cooking supplies and bathroom supplies. Nothing of great value, they had to sell a lot of books they had – Armin only now realizing how many books his Grandfather had stored away. It was very sad to see them go, especially as Armin didn’t remember reading any of those stories.

The most important book, Armin has not seen. He does not know if his Grandfather had sold it, and stored it away in one of the boxes.

He never held the book – never looked at it.

It would only bring back bad, painful memories. So Armin pretended he never knew about it, never overheard his Grandfather talking about it. He no longer had the hope of going behind the walls, finally realizing…

Skipping of the front porch, Armin rushed towards the carriage. He could see a few people dozing as they waited for this stop to finish up and they could continue on their way. A man sat at the back, and when Armon approached, he passed the heavy box to him – it was much heavier then the other boxes.

The man bowed to him before he circled to the front. He climbed up, and gripped the horse straps. In one snap, the carriage was trotting away. Armin stared after it, seeing the sunlight light the carriage up – he smiled, it was as if seeing the sight was symbolising the start of a brand new novel.

He could not wait to read it.

“Armin? Are you alright? Is it to heavy?”

“I’m coming! Don’t worry, Grandpa!”

Armin waved at a old lady standing outside – she must be one of his neighbours. She smiled in return. 

The first page is now.

~#~#~#~

Armin was stressed.

He rolled onto his stomach, looking down at the blank page of paper in front of him. His Grandfather had left for work a little while ago, leaving Armin alone in their new home. He was to go to the new market soon – Armin was looking forward to seeing the different vegetables. Just looking during the carriage trip, he had seen some vegetables he hadn’t seen before.

Next to him was his journal. He had it open, re-reading what he had written last year.

Year 845 – the Colossus Titan breached Wall Maria – he kicked through the front gate – Titans overrun Shiganshina.

The fall of Shiganshina was the starting point.

It was year 843 as of now. Two more years, when Armin turns thirteen (the youngest of the old trio) the wall would be breached. He had successfully gotten his Grandfather to safety without having to make a follow of him.

Year 848 – Wall Rose will be breached – the Colossus Titan will once again kick through the wall.

Armin will be sixteen when that happens. He will be finishing the three year gap of training for the military, which he would have joined near the end of 845 – after the calamity of the Colossus Titan. 

Year 845 will be the year of a lot of stress, tears and blood. The Colossus Titan breached Wall Maria, Titans overrun Shiganshina, everyone who survived would be pushed back to the Trost District, the King would begin a suicide mission and send out all the vulnerable survivors and finally, near the end of the year…with nothing else left for them to do, Armin followed Eren and Mikasa to the military. They had no home, no food, no money, they had no other choice…

Year 845 can fuck itself.

Armin groaned. He crossed his arms and buried his face into them. Why was it so hard? His brain was scattered all over the place, and he was struggling to clue the puzzle together. He propped himself back up with a sigh.

Okay, so what will happen in 845 will happen no matter what. Armin can’t stop Marley from sending their first attack, their first mission. Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie will be sent to ‘Paradis Island’ to get the ‘Founding Titan’ power for Marley’s own war.

“Hmm.”

Armin tapped his chin in thought. From what he saw, when he became shifter and got to see Bertholdt’s memories and was able to learn.. ‘Paradis Island Operation’ was. A long-term strategy to regain the Founding Titan, and eradicate the people of the walls.

The nation of Marley was aware of their diminishing power of the seven Titans. The authorities of Marley turned to ‘Paradis Island’ after realizing it contained plentiful fossil fuels, which they decided they needed to keep a strong grip on the world – for technological progress.

‘Paradis Island’ was…from what Armin remembered and struggled to recollect, the home to the remnants of the former empire of Eldia. The Fritz family who had the Founding Titan, the greatest of all Titans…

Karl Fritz had made the ultimatum that if Marley made any move against the remnants of Eldia, the Founding Titan would unleash the countless Colossus Titans that was held in the great walls. Marley went against the ultimatum, and chose to develop a Warrior program. Seven children to be trained to inherit the seven Titans in their possession.

“Oh,” Armin blinked, stretching his arm out and carefully writing across the paper, “Zeke Yeager, Bertolt Hoover, Reiner Braun, Annie Leonhart, Marcel Galliard, and Pieck…”

Grisha steals the Founding Titan from the Fritz’s family, and gives it to Eren. He entrusts Eren with the key to the basement and injects him with a Titan serum. Grisha is immediately devoured by Eren, transferring both the Founding Titan and Attack Titan to him…

Then everything basically goes to shit.

“Ow…my head…”

Armin flopped back into his arms, his head beginning throb. Why was it hurting now? He groaned, and tried to calm himself. So, he rolled back over and crawled towards the small kitchen, getting himself a cup of water.

“Everyone’s a bit of a blur right now,” he muttered to himself thoughtfully, “Maybe it’s because I was thinking too hard about it…”

It was probably from the overwhelmed tack of memories stored in his brain. Armin did remember to many life time’s where he had died. He was simply trying to make a timeline for now. A timeline for the beginning few months – years.

How ironic, the one time he wanted to die – he wasn’t allowed to. All the other times he didn’t want to die, he died. Some in very gruesome and ghastly ways.

Forcing the depressing thoughts away, Armin walked to the middle of the room. He stretched himself, before looking down at himself. A soft sound came from the back of his throat, he remembered going through training. He remembered the training corps, and the hell he went through, how body burned and struggled to keep up with everyone…

Keith Shadis was brutal.

He was ruthless. Screaming and barking, pushing everyone to their break point. Armin was a big target for him. Armin remembered all the times the man had came after, while everyone stood back and did nothing. The stares he gained from Eren and Mikasa was…hurtful, he guessed. Back then, Armin never noticed and just felt guilty for holding them back.

Now, he could see and understand those looks.

Armin swallowed, and clenched his hands. He didn’t want to be the clown again, he didn’t want to be the punch bag. He didn’t want to have Keith Shadis screaming into his ears for three full years.

Shifting, Armin stretched his arms above his head. His blue eyes flashed in determination, recalling all the times he was at the back of the pack. Remembering all the times he ran through the rain, struggling to carry his bag until Reiner took it because Armin was ‘too delicate for this’.

No.

No, no, no.

Armin wanted to make his own root. He wanted to be able to look after himself. The memories of the training burned, he had so many memories. He could feel his eyes swirling already with water, and he inhaled sharply – his nose hurt.

Furiously he shook his head. No. He won’t be that same pathetic, mouse boy. He’ll gain a little muscle, he won’t be at the back. He won’t be the rear of the pack this time. He won’t be the struggling wolf who always loses sight of the pack.

He knew he could never be the best. Could never reach the same levels of the others, but he sure as hell won’t rely on them. Especially if he wanted to save Marco, wanted to save Sasha, wanted to save Jean and Connie. All the friends he would make during the training corps. He won’t have them look on at him in pity, he won’t have them offer the hands – he’ll offer his hands instead to himself.

Armin stretched himself over, beginning to mimic the muscle stretching he learnt during his time at the Survey Corps.

He was trained underneath the most powerful warrior, humanity had. The strongest man Paradis Island had to the offer.

Commander Levi had brutally trained him for years until Armin lost his last breath.

He still remembered those. The stretching, the running, the feelings of pin and needles.

Armin began to the training excises on his arms and legs. He will never be as strong, or macular as the others. He will always be thinner, softer and more feminine then them, but he won’t need help. Armin will make sure of that.

His young, eleven year old body cried as he began to forcefully stretched his legs and arms out. But Armin pressed on. He didn’t care, just as long as he is able to keep up with the pack in the future.

That will be enough.

~#~#~#~

Armin flopped upside down across the floor. He panted deeply, sweat running along his skin – his clothes drenched. He stared blankly up at the ceiling, asking himself why. Why did he do that?

Was it worth it?

He was dying…

“It hurts so much!”

He wondered how long he could just lay there, dying on the floor? His whole body was sore, and burned. He had forgotten how much it hurt, the burning that would coat him. Ah. It had long since passed before, he was a young adult…of course training like that didn’t hurt but he didn’t have that body anymore.

His body was completely and utterly, unprepared for that type of training!

He was dying! That’s it! His body was just gonna shut down!

Armin’s thoughts were broken when he heard a knock at the door. He groaned deeply, and forced himself to sit up. A low cry escaping his lips as he cursed whoever was waiting outside the door. He was so not ready to move about yet, not after following Commander Levi’s ruthless training for three hours straight.

Damn his weak psychic.

Crawling on his knees and hands, Armin made his way to the door. He groaned deeply, and crawled up the door until he was standing fully. His legs trembled, shook, damn – it was worse then his first time completely this training section.

He wanted to lay down and sleep it off.

Finally, he wrapped his fingers around the handle and with all his strength opened the door. Ah, he defeated the demonic door.

Standing outside was the old lady he saw.

“Oh, er, hello.”

The old lady smiled kindly, “Are you alright? You look like you’ve gained a fever.”

“N-No! I’m fine! I’m not sick!”

She didn’t look convinced.

“Um,” Armin glanced down at his red, sweaty and hot self in embarrassment, “I was, um, training my body.”

“Training?”

Armin nodded sheepishly, “I need to get stronger.”

“Why?”

“To keep my Grandpa from dying.”

The look on the poor old lady was enough to snap Armin out of his thoughts. He shook his head, and breathed in sharply, straightening himself.

“Um. It’s…nice to meet you?”

The old lady made a soft sound. Her eyes shined a strange glint.

“I wanted to welcome you to the village. I was hoping Howard would be here?”

Armin blinked once, “You know Grandpa?”

“Oh, so you’re Armin,” she smiled, reaching forward to pat him on the cheek, “My-my, look how much you’ve grown.”

“Y-You know me?”

The old lady’s face softened, “It’s been a long time since the last time I saw you. Howard and I go way back, we knew eachother since the Training Corp.”

“Training Corp!”

Armin brightened up with eagerness. Before, in the other lines, his Grandfather always died during the fall of Shiganshina and Armin never knew he was apart of the corps. Now that he knew, and he had tried to talk to the old man about it, he always buttoned up.

“Hm, that’s correct. We were enrolled as members of the 99th Training Corps.”

99th?

His Grandfather was apart of the 99th group of corps.

“He never talks about it.”

“Probably so you don’t follow in his footsteps.”

Armin flinched at that. He does. He does follow his Grandfather’s footsteps, he joined the training corps and had his life fucked over time and time again. Armin awkwardly too the side, what would his Grandfather say if he knew? What would his Grandfather say if Armin told him of the intention of joining the training corps?

“He retired before any of us, due to your father.”

Snapping his head back to the old woman, Armin’s eyes widened. His jaw became slack, and he inched forward, as if he was about to grab onto the woman but suddenly she moved away with a sheepish laugh.

“Sorry, sorry, at my age, my old mind keeps on looking into the past. Ah, I’ll leave you now. Please let Howard know I stopped by.”

“Wait-“

“It’s nice to see you Armin. I hope you will enjoy it here.”

Before Armin could utter another word, the old lady was already waddling away. He stared after her helplessly, a weak hand twitching as it stretched out as if to hold onto her – but it was too late. She was already waddling back into her own house.

Armin grumbled, easing backward.

His Grandfather retired from the military due to his father? His Grandfather didn’t like to talk about his parents either…Armin didn’t really know anything about them, he had no memoires of them either. He knew one thing, and that was they died trying to escape the walls – they used or built the first hot air balloon.

His parents was one of the reasons for his love for the outside. His dream was built of the back of his parents wanting to see the outside, his Grandfather had supported them…

Armin sighed, closing the door and leaning against the door tiredly.

“I’m really dying here…”

With a depressing whine, Armin made the painful truck to the bathroom. He was ready to wash the sweat, and grit away. He still had to go the market and purchase certain foods that would keep, fill their stomachs and just…keep them living.

Once he was washed, and cleaned. Armin gently pulled at one of the loose blonde hair, twirling it between a finger and plucking it out with a grunt. It ached, but it was nothing like the pain the rest of his body had to deal with.

Did Levi suspect them to die form such ruthless training?

Armin whined, dragging himself towards the door. He pulled his favourite blue cardigan on, and stepped outside. A cold rush of wind pulled at his hair and cardigan, Armin turned his head to look across the pretty but empty land of Krolva.

Was it right?

Was it far?

Armin had saved his Grandfather. He had left everyone else behind to die. Was it far for him to enjoy the beautiful land of Krolva? To be so happy that they had moved out here? When he knew of all the pain and suffering other people would be experiencing soon?

So many questions and Armin had no answer.

With a sigh, Armin closed the door and turned around. If he remembered correctly, the main part of Krolva village, where everyone would gather, where things like the market would be held was near the lake.

“The lake is to the left,” he said thoughtfully.

It was quiet and peaceful.

There was no rushing of feet, no loud voices, no laughter, no sneers or snarls. No bullies to come barrelling out form nowhere, and pushing him around. He wasn’t shoved to the ground, and mocked. His hair wasn’t yanked, and pulled, he wasn’t hurt. The little people who were around didn’t pay him any attention at all, they continued to walk past him to engrossed in their own conversation.

Armin smiled. He loved it. It was perfect.

The blonde continued to walk. He even hummed to himself, he had no strings or ropes holding him down. He was no longer a puppet tied up. He was able to do whatever he wanted, without having to worry – he was working so hard to keep his Grandfather safe.

He was happy.

A yelp escaped his lips, Armin jerked. He spun around, looking up at the sudden sound of something moving – the tree tops rustling. Of course, his mind immediately leaped to a blood thirsty – grinning Titan.

It was a bird.

The white bird moved higher and higher into the air. Armin stared, watching as it flow away. His face was blank, with no emotion, no nothing. His eyes unmoving as he watched the bird until he no longer could see it. Even then, Armin stared and slowly realized he was breathing heavily.

It took Armin one full minute to break out of it again.

He closed his eyes, and shook his head. His lips twirling into a gentle smile, a hand running through his short blonde hair.

He chuckled to himself. It made sense he would have reacted like that.

Armin turned around to continue to walk, only unlike before, Armin’s eyes kept sliding back to look behind. Ever so often he would look back over his shoulder, eyes swirling slowly back and forth. He would then returned his attention ahead, shaking his head at how ridiculous he was. Looking for Titans behind him.

There was no Titans here. He was safe.

But yet, Armin kept looking behind him. He kept glancing behind him, but instead of looking up forward like one would suspect…he was looking at the trees, bushes, anything that was small but big enough for human.

“What am I doing?”

Armin shook his head again. Seriously? What was he doing?

“I’m being paranoid.”

Sighing, the blonde twirled back around and walked briskly onward. He walked stiffly, finding himself eager to hurry up. He rushed along the pavement, keeping his head down to look at his feet as he went. It was only when he heard the familiar sound of busyness, did he truly relax. Did his body finally unreel itself.

Armin’s head twirled upward, seeing the market of the Krolva District. It was like ho-it was Shiganshina. There was many people! So different to the rest of the village, the very-very quiet grounds.

He found himself rushing towards the market, eager to be around noise. To be around busyness, buzzing bugs – to be around true life. He smiled widely, and let out a breath of relief, coming to a stop in the open wooden posts of the market.

So many people.

People he hadn’t seen before, they were walking back and forth. They were laughing, screaming, dancing, crying – everything. Armin’s eyes scattered back and forward, looking from face to face. The odd pressure inside his chest released immediately, and he hummed deeply.

Finally, he dragged his achy body into the market. His attention quickly going to the vegetable stands, there was many more then the ones from Shiganshina stalls. As Armin looked at them, he found his insides swirl with disbelief.

There was tomatoes, cucumbers, garlic and even corn!

Fishing out the list from his pocket, Armin chewed his bottom lip. He had 321 pounds with him, left over money from paying the fee. Armin should be able to get some vegetables to last for at least a week, he tried to ignore the fact that amount of money would have purchased enough cheap – gross vegetables to last for at least a month. It was so much more expensive, but it was a good sacrifice to give for the safety of his Grandfather.

But still…he was little resented about that.

Right, he’ll need the normal vegetables. Eggplant, Brussel sprouts, broccoli and asparagus, but he also grabbed a few other ones. Especially tomato and corn. Of course, he had to grab corn. He missed corn.

Eventually, Armin was on his way back to the house. A strange, stressful fear suddenly overcame him. He came to a stop, standing still while staring back at market. He stood completely still for a way to long, before snapping out of whatever he was in – the noise of the market slowly beginning to melt away.

Armin walked slower then before, moving back along the pavement silently. His ears listening out for-for, well…he wasn’t sure.

“I hope Grandpa will like the stew tonight. Maybe I should try out one of the other recipes Sasha was always going on about…I’ll have to substitute the meat…”

Another cold, brisk powerful wind ram into his thin body. It almost sent the eleven year old straight off his feet, knocking the wind out of his lungs. He felt his whole body move forward with the wind, almost losing the bag of vegetables – his arms clenching tightly around the bag to save them in time.

Heat run up the back of his neck, making all the hairs stand up on end.

The sound of rushing feet came from behind him all of a sudden.

Armin spun around in anxiousness. A swirl of tingling warmth ran through his stomach, and his eyes widened with something…hope? No, why? Maybe?

Running straight past him was a young boy with dark hair. He continued to run onward, no stopping, not even looking at him.

The blonde watched the boy, watched as he raced up the hill and disappearing behind a line of trees. Armin stared and stared, a strange drum curling across his face. A painful pinch of burning heat appeared in the middle of his nose, making his nose hurt.

A tear ran over his cheeks.

They dripped faster along his rosy cheek, growing heavier and heavier with every passing second. Armin wheezed out dryly, a hand raising to touch his face. Large tears ran down his face like a waterfall.

He tried to fight the sob from crawling up his throat, but it came out anyway. Armin’s screwed shut tightly, his long eyelashes twitching as more tears swelled up. He couldn’t control it, the dame had suddenly broke – he cried.

Armin’s body arched over, sinking to his knees – his arms wrapping around himself. His fingers dug into his cardigan and tugging until it truly did hurt.

His loud, ugly cries fading into the raging winds.

~#~#~#~

He stared at himself in the mirror, his fingers reaching up to touch his sore red eyes. He had cried for so long, in the middle of the road. Armin sighed, staring at himself. He never thought he would generally cry over that, but he supposed it was to be expected.

“Armin?”

Exiting the bathroom, Armin waved, “Welcome home.”

His Grandfather sat back of sofa, glancing around the house with a quiet hum, “You’ve cleaned?”

“I wanted too.”

“You didn’t have too. You’re growing up too fast.”

Armin hummed, “Oh, our neighbour stopped by. She wanted to see you, called you by your name and everything.”

“Hmm?” his Grandfather hummed quietly, “Did she leave a message?”

“Not really. She said she was a old friend, back from your time at the corps.”

The old man stiffened, “…Did she say anything else?”

Armin was quiet, he gazed at his beloved Grandfather. He slowly walked towards him, sitting down next to him and laying his head against his shoulder.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me you were apart of the 99th graduation training corps?”

The old man was silent for a very long time. The soft ticking of the clock echoed throughout the small area. Finally, he made a deep sound, raising a old hand to touch his temple.

“I didn’t want you to do what I did. I wasted my good years.”

Armin’s eyes widened, “Huh?”

“I know, fighting for humanity, trying to protect everyone the moral direction…but I wasted more happier…brighter years. Of course I am happy with the memories I have no but I also know, it could have been more.”

“Grandpa…”

His Grandfather’s old eyes became misty with the past, “Listen Armin, maybe someday you will hear the saying: Someone who can’t sacrifice anything, can’t ever change anything.”

Armin jerked. His head raising to look at his Grandfather with wide eyes, his lips twitching watery. He knew those words, had thought them many times, had said them outside…his chest tightened in pain. Why? Why was his Grandfather repeating them?

“It’s not true.”

“Grandpa,” Armin gasped.

With a warm smile, his Grandfather turned fully to Armin, “Listen to me. It’s not true, there are always other ways. Other doors, other pathways one can take. You do not have to sacrifice anything to change things. It all depends on what is inside, it is in here what counts. Use your head, use your eyes, use your nose, and follow what you think is right. Don’t do what other want you too. Those words will only become your chains to hold you back, the chains of having to lose your most important things, people, everything to progress…do not let the lock fall into place.”

Armin’s chest tightened, “Grandpa-“ 

“No matter what, do not swear to devote your heart and soul to the restoration of humankind. It’s never worth it. There will always be another bad, another shadow, no matter how hard to move forward. Even if you defeat the overbearing darkness, another will always take its place.”

“The fight, the war, the chains that will always infect you, will always – always drain you every passion you have inside. The greater glory that drying for that belief is nothing but a mith. It an empty problem that will cage you.”

‘I was, I am, and I remain a soldier, warn to devote my heart and soul to the restoration of humankind! There is no greater glory than dying for that belief!”

Everything around Armin shuddered. His eyes grow wider and wider, listening to his Grandfather’s words. Listening to him speak. As he does, flashes of the past, rain drops of his past life, of his decisions, thoughts, feelings and words danced through his mind.

‘Someone who can’t sacrifice anything, can’t ever change anything.’

“It is easier to believe…we have to let go of things that don’t benefit us anymore, it’s not just beneficial, it is necessary. To move forward, to gain, we must sacrifice. We must let go of the good, the things we’re comfortable with, in order to have the great…I suppose, you can say it is true?” his Grandfather explained, his eyes lowering in a tender sadness, “But I don’t believe that. Sacrificing everything, so we could change the future, giving up things to move on just because it doesn’t benefit us anymore…that’s losing your way. You will lose yourself with that mindset.”

“All those things are memories that makes up your reflection. It is who you are.”

Armin swallowed. His lips pressing together into a think line.

“W-What if you can’t m-move on with it holding you down?” he asked quietly.

His Grandfather shook his head, “It’s not the same thing. You must never forget, even if it hurts, you must always bare the brunt force of it because it is who you are. Everything is yourself, who your soul is. No matter how much it hurt, you must accept it as a fragment of yourself. Sacrificing is never a final must.”

“You will never become a burden if you follow your own light.”

Armin’s eyes swirled with tears. His head tilted backward, his nose scrunching up and his lips twisted into a strong defined archway – a broken frown. His lips parted, and he let out a deep sob. He latched forward, grabbing onto his Grandfather, and crying.

Armin’s old words, old voice, echoed through his head.

‘I’d rather die than become a burden!’

He doesn’t want to be like that before. He doesn’t want to be so willing to give his life to humanity, wants to make his own reason.

“Armin, I don’t want you to waste your future. I don’t want you to flush it down the drain.”

“I won’t Grandpa. I won’t this time.”

‘The strong feed upon weak. It’s such an obligingly simple rule. Except in this world, my friends tried to be strong. ‘

‘Everyone can make a choice after they have learned what it will result in. It is so easy to say we should have done it this way afterwards. But you can’t know what your choice will result in before actually choosing.’

‘When People are faced with a situation they don’t understand, it’s easy for fear to take hold.’

‘I think there are times people have to die…even if I don’t like it.’

“They are all part of the chains that hold me back. I won’t make the same steel and iron this time.”

His Grandfather rubbed Armin’s back. His old hand gently comforted Armin as he sobbed.

“I can’t stop crying, Grandpa. All day, I keep crying.”

“It’s alright to miss the past, Armin. It’s what makes you human.”

Armin sobbed harder and harder, “I cried outside too! On my way home from the market! I just burst into tears because of some boy running past me!”

“I miss Shiganshina too.”

Armin cried.

‘I’ll use this life to the fullest…until the bitter end and successful in saving myself.’ 

~#~#~#~

Moving through the clutter left across the floor, Armin gathered most of it up in his thin arms. He made a soft sound form the back of his throat as he walked around the house, trying to find places for the things his Grandfather had bringing home. All sorts of weird little things he was gifted, or just found.

Armin his head at a strange candle-like thing. Why his Grandfather brought that of all things back to house was beyond him.

Falling to his knees, Armin pulled open the bottle draw or at least tried too. He struggled a little before it clicked open, revealing a range of papers and that very same book. Armin’s eyes squinted, so his Grandfather kept it after all. He hissed through clenched teeth, he didn’t want to look at that book ever again – it was just a reminder of the worse moments of his life – of all his lives and so, Armin went to shut it again when something else caught his attention.

Armin blinked his sky blue eyes, and reached a hand into the draw. His fingers trembling as they touched a cool surface. He inhaled sharply, carefully pulling it out. Armin blinked, having never seen this before.

It was such a strange looking item.

A locket? No, but it was similar. It was small and thin, hanging on a dark string. Armin ran his thumb across the surface of it, noticing the odd patterns carved into it – was it silver? It looked like it? There was a strangely carved ‘F’ in the middle of it, Armin’s lips twisted awkwardly.

Why did he Grandfather have that?

Armin shook his head, and shoved it back into the draw – pushing it shut. He then stood up, and turned away from it, walking back through the house. After he had completed the job of putting the strange items away, Armin returned to the main part of the house where he found his Grandfather fixing the table.

“Um…”

“Our quests will be arriving soon.”

Humming quietly, Armin began to help his Grandfather set the table. His eyes running across it thoughtfully.

“Why four?”

His Grandfather chuckled, “She’s bringing her daughter.”

“Her daughter?”

The old man patted Armin on the head, “You guys will have a lot in common. Both of you are compassionate, and have this enjoyment for books.”

“Oh.”

Who could that be?

Still, Armin smiled. He gazed at his beloved Grandfather, seeing the brief flickers of anxiousness and embarrassment flickering across his face. To think Armin had never seen this side of him before, had never seen him so jitty before. Armin wondered what his Grandfather had been like, in the past, when he and his friend were in the training corps.

“Grandpa, what section was you and your friend apart of?”

The old man paused briefly, “Hm, why do you ask?”

“You look happy.”

Eyes widening, and blinking, the man straightened himself, “Margaret and I were friends since childhood. We used to live in the same street, before we both decided to share the same dream. We wanted to stay together, so we both went into the training corps. I’m…I lost contact with her after…I mean, we grow apart.”

“I’m happy to see her again, after all this time.”

Armin tilted his head thoughtfully. Before he could open his mouth to speak, a soft knock was delivered to the door. Gaining both of the Alerts attention.

“I’ll get it!”

His Grandfather could only shake his head in amusement as Armin raced off.

Said blonde yelped as he stabbed his toe, falling into the door and smacking his head. Armin grunted from embarrassment, stepping back with a hand raising to touch his head. He pouted, and wrapped his fingers around the handle – pulling it open to reveal the friendly old lady from next door neighbour.

“H-Hello.”

The woman smiled warmly, “You’re certainly a buddle of sunshine today.”

“Ah, um…”

“I’m just teasing.”

Armin shuffled backward, holding the door open, “Um, um, welcome. I mean, come inside and-and…my Grandpa’s been looking forward to see you and…”

“You’re very much like your old man.”

Face burning, Armin smiled meekly, “I’ve been told that…”

“Margaret.”

“Howard.”

Armin beamed. Watching as the two old friends reunited with happiness. Their hands stretching out and hugging one another. It was nice to see, warming…considering how his own friendships broke down into.

“My daughter – “

Turning around, Armin’s eyes raised to look at the much taller and much older woman. She walked into the house as if she was here on business. She walked stiffly, her back straight and shoulders broad. Her short white hair framed her pointed face, her pointed nose with a pair of glasses sitting on the tip – strapped to her head by a thin black strap.

Armin knew her…

Rico Brzenska.

The surviving leader of the Alpha Squad, that would one day be assigned to protect Eren during the liberation of Trost District mission. She told Mikasa off when the dark haired girl wanted to lie about Eren.

Armin couldn’t believe he was seeing her in front of him, before he even turned thirteen years old! She was legend in the ranks, a amazing soldier of the Garrison.

“Y-You!”

The white haired girl’s face began to dark, and she looked away. Her fingers pulled with a white curl, awkwardly shuffling her feet. Oh! She’s only just been promoted to the leader, hasn’t she! But still, Rico Brzenska was the first female to be promoted to the leader of the highest teams of Garrison and the youngest person!

Armin had always admired her…even when he questioned some of her actions.

“You’re Rico Brzenska!”

Rico awkwardly rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.

“Er-“

The old lady chuckled, “It seems you have a fan here, Rico.”

“Mother…”

Armin’s own face burned hotter and hotter, he looked down at his feet from embarrassment. He doesn’t mean to sound so cheesy, or annoying. His fingers twisted around his blue sweater, tugging a little and sniffled a little.

“Um…I-I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be so…”

“Oh, it’s okay.”

Armin awkwardly hummed, “I admire you a lot. I can’t believe I’m meeting you.”

“You want to join the corps too?”

“Um…”

A look of understanding flashed across Rico’s face. She nodded her head with a kind look on her face, she reached out and amazingly patted Armin on the shoulder. 

“Maybe someday we can have serious talk about it.”

Armin gasped, eyes widening in disbelief, “R-Really?”

This was practically unheard of. The soldiers never wanted to talk about, never took praise seriously – unless you were a part of the Military.

“Sure.”

“Armin, can you come help with this?”

“Coming!”

Armin shyly turned back to the kitchen, joining his Grandfather up at the counter. He snorted out a laugh as he saw his Grandfather struggling with the vegetable stew. He smiled, and took over quickly, patting for the old man to go sit down.

“Armin, how old are you?” Margaret questioned, “You look quite young.”

“Oh, I’m eleven.”

The young blonde lowered himself down next to his Grandfather. He kicked his legs a little, leaning forward to drink some water.

“Eleven?” Margaret gasped, “Oh my. You’re very grown up for your age, cooking and cleaning. Don’t you have friends?”

Armin almost chocked.

“No. Not anymore.”

Rico raised an eyebrow, “Not anymore? So you did?”

“Sort off.”

His Grandfather chuckled, placing a gentle a hand onto his shoulder, “We moved Shiganshina District, so we had to leave everyone behind.”

“Oh, you never change Howard,” the old lady laughed, “Didn’t we grow up in Shiganshina?”

“We did. I remember.”

They both laughed.

“Armin is very grown up. He’s grown up so fast, I feel like it was just yesterday he was a baby and I was holding him in my arms,” his Grandfather said fondly, “Recently he’s been having such a grown up mindset, eager to help around the house. I would have preferred him to be out and about, making friends and having fun like before.”

Armin flushed, “I like helping. I want too.”

“You’re only eleven years old, you have your whole life ahead of you.”

“I’m making my life better.”

Rico clocked her head, “Why do you work so hard?”

“So my Grandpa doesn’t die.”

Both females awkwardly stared at him. His Grandfather could only sigh.

“I mean…” Armin fidgeted, “I mean I wanted to take some of the burden off Grandpa. He’s getting old, and um, I don’t want to lose him. I know I’m young but I can still do things. Um. The only thing I’m struggling with is earning more money to help out, nobody will give me a chance…”

The white haired woman tilted her head, “You want a job?”

“Um…”

“Either you do, or you don’t.”

“I do!” Armin yelped, “I do! I want to be able to help Grandpa more!”

“Okay. I’m sure Benham needs more hands on his vegetable field. I’ll talk to him about it.”

Armin blinked in shock.

“T-Thank you?”

His Grandfather raised his head, “Is Benham still in the Garrison?”

“Oh no, retired after his son Gustav was born. Did you hear that Gustav has moved up the ranks to become Commander Pixis second in command? It’s a very big thing.”

Whoa…

~#~#~#~

Benham was a strange man. He laughed a lot, and was keen to work Armin hard on the fields. The blonde quickly found his fingers blistering up, his Grandfather would put ice on them and always reinsured Armin that he could quit whenever he wanted – Armin never did. He didn’t earn as much as an adult, but he was earning just that little extra that really made a difference.

He got sunburnt a lot too. His skin was just too far to be outside for hours.

…and before Armin knew it…

A frown appeared across Armin’s lips, he trailed along the long track back to the house. His blue eyes staring down at the little swells on his fingers, he grunted to himself. He would have thought after months, he would have gotten used to it. But now…he may have built up a little muscle in his arms and legs, but he still felt numb. His legs still became jelly, and he still felt as if he was about fall right over.

Ah. It was annoyingly painful.

Raising his head, Armin squinted his eyes in confusion. His eyes trailed along the familiar grounds of Krolva in thought, humming softly as he walked. God, did his body hurt. But he had earned enough to pay for bread, so that’s the bright side of it.

It was then that he heard voices up ahead.

Armin clocked his head in thought, peering through the nothingness.

“Oh, h-hello.”

The young white haired beauty turned her head as his voice hitched. She blinked her dark eyes, taking in his small form. It had been two years since Armin had met her, and he still felt that authority sensation. He was looking up at a commanding officer, and he was nothing but scum…even if she had been nothing but bluntly kind to him.

Giving him advise on how to get his Grandfather to come around.

“Armin?” Rico began, “Hurry home. Now.”

“W-What? Why? Is something wrong?”

Armin looked from Rico, to the other people around her. It was then that he noticed everyone was carrying large sacks and boxes.

“Don’t worry about that, get home as quickly as you can. Do not stop until you are safely behind your door.”

Rico was speaking so quickly that Armin had almost missed it. She sounded almost desperate? Frantic? Now that Armin was looking up at her, looking at her more grown up face, he realized she didn’t look that good. Her face was pale, and she was gnawed away at her lip. Armin was a little worried she would begin to bleed. Her hands were shaking, and her knees twitched.

The biggest thing he noticed…

“W-Why are you geared up?”

Coldness began to pierce through him. Slowly the horrors that Armin had worked on ignoring for the time being began to climb back up his back, biting into the back of his neck. His lips trembled, with his eyes misting up.

The echoing screams. The wails. The red liquid flashing through the air, painting the chaotic grounds. People running in vain, desperate to get away from the blood thirsty lions. 

The start of everything…Armin didn’t realize what day it was. He had gotten up like normally, washed himself, prepared food for himself and his Grandfather. Had spoken with Margaret for a couple of minutes before making his way to the fields.

Armin had gone to work, and pulled up large bunches of vegetables…while people lost their lifes. While people ran around in fear, and was chased down to be devoured.

What had Armin done…nothing…

“What happened!”

The other adults looked at him with a tender expression. Armin had grown quite a reputation in their village, he had helped many people. Had worked hard to support his Grandfather, and people had notice.

One woman reached to touch his shoulder, “Don’t worry about that. We, grownups, are handling it.”

“No! I want to help!”

“We need extra help at the Frost District. We need as many hands as possible with people coming in?” one of the men said, looking to Rico.

Rico was quiet, staring firmly at the small blonde.

“Armin, you said you were from the Shiganshina District didn’t you?”

“I did!”

“Wall Maria has fallen.”

~#~#~#~

The large, dripping of blood hand appeared from black smoke. The smoke raised higher and higher in to the air, fanning out as if a massive bomb had gone off. The hand makes the wall shake as it raised and grabbed onto the top, little cracks beginning form around the fingertips. The dim glow of the sunlight made the disgusting flesh stand out.

A lone bird flow over it, uncaring, unstopping.

It was silent. Everyone stared up at that damn hand in a shared anticipation. Hearts becoming ice in their chest, and faces becoming rubbery, eyes dropping wide. The shadow came first, raising higher and higher, bathing the hole village in it’s hell. The darkness of the shadow leaking out around the corners as the face ranked backward – raising up to it’s full height.

Steam flared free from the skin as if the head had thousands upon thousands of pipes inside. The eye sockets were deep and dark, blood slowly beginning to drip from the fleshless sockets. A wide, lipless grin stretched across the wide face, but despite the fact it was grinning, it looked sad.

The foot of the beast raised backward, the whole ground shaking in time with the movement. The hand pressed down harder on top of the wall, and soon the fleshless foot slammed through the gate of Maria. The loud echoing of it riding the waves of wind, sending a gas of dirt and smoke – like a tornado had pulled itself through.

Screams, shrieks and screeches followed.

Large rocks plummet from the sky, like rain drops. They crushed everything and anything. Blood erupted with every hit the rocks made.

‘They b-blew a-a hole t-through the wall…’

‘They’re coming through! The Titans are coming through!’

‘We need too…it’s all over. This town is…going to be overrun by the Titans!’

Soot fell from the heavens, covering everyone. Loved ones became trapped by falling stone, houses collapsed, glass shattered, and the tearful desperation begging filled the air. Heavy footsteps made everyone run for fear, but they would always be caught.

Armin squeezed his eyes shut, a hand raising to touch the side of his head. He breathed in sharply as the pulsing images continued to assault his brain. Tears swelled at the corner of his eyes, making his insides twist until it hurt.

“Armin, are you alright? You can go back to Krolva District if it is too much for you?”

“N-No, I can deal with it,” Armin inhaled sharply, “I want to help too.”

Rico nodded and didn’t reply.

The old, wooden carriage neared Trost. Armin could see the crowd of people. People coming in on boats, or rushing up to the gates of the walls. He could hear the familiar, gut-clenching of people inside the district.

“It’s so loud…”

“It is,” another person said.

Armin gulped. His hands trembled, the memories of all his past lives returned with a vengeance – crucifying him for trying to forget, for pushing it to the back of his brain. It was there, and it would never be going away, even if Armin had disjoined himself from. How unfair of him, to live a happy life for a little time while death was beginning to play cards.

He bites his bottom lip, tears swelling up at the memories. He was a terrible person for abounding the district like he did. He was ten, eleven, twelve and now thirteen, what could he have done? Something more. He could have pushed more, and saved more lifes. People were still dying, were going to continue to die…

Armin was no longer the ten year old that had sprung up from a terrible overload of past lifes. He was no longer the boy who screamed, and pulled out his hair from every death that he suddenly remembered. No, Armin was thirteen years old and he remembered what happened today. He knew he had let it happened…

“Armin?”

“I’m alright. It’s just…”

Rico placed a careful hand onto his shoulder, “Do not blame yourself.”

“But-“

“Do not blame yourself. Nobody could have anticipated this happening.”

“…I…”

He could have…

“What about my Grandpa?” Armin asked, “I didn’t tell him!”

Rico shook her head, “Do not worry. I sent a message to mother, I’m sure she is with Howard.”

“…Right.”

Armin turned back to look at Trost District. He gulped, and trembled, the carriage getting closer and closer, the wails and cries becoming earth-shaking.

It was…worse then he remembered. More people were injured, or maybe he was looking through a new lens? People were buddled throughout the town, sobbing and crying. The military corps running back and forth, the Garrison stumbling about while dragging supplies with them. Rico quickly departed for the outer walls to help her comrades fight, leaving Armin with the other Krolva villagers.

“You can help give out medical supplies.”

Armin’s eyes widened, “Medical supplies?”

“Yeah?” one of the Garrison said, turning to the other, “He’s just a kid.”

“We don’t have nearly enough hands to care for all these people. Look, kid, does blood scare you? Are you able to hand out bandages, plasters and pain medication?”

“Harvey-“

The other slapped his mate’s hand off his shoulder, “Commander Rico said he is a strong kid. He can handle more responsibilities.”

The blonde jerked in surprise, he straightened himself the best he could. His arms locked to his side, “Yes!”

Both men looked back at him in surprise.

“I mean, I can,” Armin bravely said, his eyes narrowing in determination, “I’m strong! I can do it, I want to help.”

“That a boy.”

The Garrison solider, Harvey, smiled. He leant forward to equip Armin with a heavy, white shoulder back. Poor Armin almost lost his balance, but quickly regained himself. He wasn’t expecting it to be that heavy.

“In here is all the things you’ll need to help the people of Shiganshina. If you run out, come back for another bag. One roll of bandages per person, no more than two – three pills per person, and one spoon full of medicine. If they try to haggle you for more, walk away. We do not have stock to give more than that.”

Armin nodded. The King would only give a small donation for this, before ordering the ‘hope mission’ which was actually a suicide mission.

“Yes sir!”

“Well? What are you waiting for?”

Jolting, the small blonde nodded. He spun around, and raced towards the first person he saw. A woman, she was slouched down by one of the pillars and was covered in bruises, cuts and scrapes. Blood seemed to be smeared across her dress, but her arms was wrapped around a child.

“I’m here to help!”

The child peeked up at him.

Armin was exhausted. He had already through his six bags in one day. That was how it was for the whole day. For the past three days, Armin continued to return to the district with other villagers. His Grandfather and Margaret eventually began to join him on the trip to help up, neither of them wanting him to travel alone – even if he was with other villagers.

On the fourth day, Armin was going through the medicine bags quicker, and was already half way through his third bag. He checked the contains as he waddled through the warehouse area – he had been avoiding it for…obvious reasons.

It was really bad. So much worse then before. So many more people were hurt. Armin had helped over half a dozen people, and many people had tried to steal from him because ‘he’s just a kid, he doesn’t know what he is doing’ but once they realized Armin wasn’t going to just sit back and let them take the supplies – they stopped. Sort off. Armin still had to fight.

The warehouse area was just as big as he remembered. There was many, so many people. They hounded the stalls, trying to get as much food as they could from the Garrisons and fought when they were only offered one bread roll and cup of water. Armin watched as one man almost dragged the poor solider over the wooden beam. He grimaced as the man was shoved back by other soldiers.

“I don’t think so friend!”

“Give me a break!”

“No, all I’ve had for two days is a little bit of crust!”

It was all so hard.

Armin closed his eyes, remembering…

‘Glad I caught you, Grandpa scrouged a little extra by telling the militarily he had kids with him.’

‘Just ignore it. Oh, you should make that last. There’s a shortage, they were already handing them out before we got here. It’s a ugly situation, there’s a greater disparity between the people and the corps…’

‘I’m going back to, um, the Titans have to pay for what they’ve done to us.’

‘Hey, you’re not serious are you? That must be your stomach talking.’

‘No! It’s not! Wake up! The guys standing between us and them are just a bunch of talk. Hell with all of them! Hell with this stupid bread roll! When are you going to get sick of their charity? Too much is just handed to us! We have to stand on our own two feet! So that’s it? Just run away and hide! You can damn well leave if you want to scrape by in the charity of cowards! You disgust me!’

‘That’s your thing! But I’m not a –‘

“Parasite,” Armin whispered, repeating the word as it echoed through his head, “But I’m not a parasite…”

He was called a parasite for trying to help them. For trying to find food for them, for accepting ‘charity’ just so they wouldn’t die.

Armin whined, clenching his eyes shut again. His ears throbbed as he forced himself forward, he hated thinking back. He didn’t like being reminded of the past, it was too much. Not nearly enough food to go around, everyone was fighting over the little they did have. Food wasn’t growing enough to feed a whole another district, and the food that was for Shiganshina was lost back in it’s district. Wall Rose was struggling to care for them, and the King, who could certainly help more then what he was doing, sat back and did nothing but whine.

Armin walked carefully, avoiding the fights of the men. Everyone must be so hungry. Armin didn’t have bread rolls on him, no, he had a eggplant. Like anybody would want that, anyway. It was one of the most disliked food the world had to offer, which was why Armin was always able to get plenty of them – he wondered why nobody did what he did. Spend the little money on a range of the cheap foods that nobody liked rather then spend it all on meat and bread.

He looked at the vegetable in the bag with a grimace. It was sour, and made his eyes water, but it filled him and that was what counted.

“min-“

The blonde sighed deeply, trailing along. His whole body hurt, his legs hurt, his arms hurt, even his earlobes hurt. What’s wrong with him? He shouldn’t be thinking about that when the people around him were in so much worse pain and were suffering.

“rmin-“

A hand suddenly grabbed his elbow. The first thought Armin had was that somebody was trying to steal the medicine bag again. He spun around, snatching his arm back and pulling the bag close to him.

“I’m not allowed to give more than one…”

The girl stared back at him, her face blank but yet her eyes trembled. Her long eyelashes framed the oddly misty eyes of hers. Her long hair was a mess with split ends, the right side of her hair was lobbed off – had somebody grabbed her and just cut off half a bunch of her hair? Her eyes were sore looking, with a large bruise covering her chin. Her clothes were a mess, and-and…

Where was it?

“M-Mikasa?”

She stared blankly at him, her stormy grey eyes quivering underneath her long eyelashes. Her hand held onto him tighter.

“Armin.”

He swallowed, turning fully to her, “Mikasa? A-Are you alright? Do you need help?”

“Not me.”

Armin’s insides hurt. He shifted forward, and mutely nodded. Mikasa returned it, her body immediately relaxing in relief. She nodded once again and turned around, her hand still holding onto his wrist and began to lead him away from the warehouse.

He looked back over his shoulder in thought. What was going on? Why did Mikasa look so defeated? She was one of the strongest people he knew? What happened to her hair? And where was her stable red scarf? Mikasa was never without it. Armin felt strange to see her without it.

It’s been three years since the last time he had seen her.

They weren’t friends. Haven’t been friends for a long time, and Armin had no desire…but he wanted to help. If Mikasa was hurt, or if Eren was hurt. He will help, but that was all. Armin wondered what they were doing, what they had done? If Eren had become a parasite despite claiming he wouldn’t.

Armin didn’t want to talk, wasn’t sure what he would say so he bites down on his bottom lip. He avoided looking at the back of Mikasa’s head, and just let her drag him along the street. His eyes glancing around himself, noticing she was beginning to take him into a alleyway.

Mutely, she came to a stop.

Hidden near the end of the alleyway was a crat. A box. It was set up in a way that made Armin believe somebody had been sleeping there, living there. Ratty blankets, with little pieces of rubbish pushed together to shelter from the rain.

“They kicked us out of the warehouse.”

Armin blinked, turning to Mikasa, “W-What?”

“They said they couldn’t afford to take care of us after the newest cut back from the King.”

Swallowing thickly, Armin turned back to stare down at the ratty blankets. He lightly tugged his hand free, and climbed to his knees next to Eren. The brunette was not in any better shape then Mikasa, he had a bruise on his cheek and his clothes were just as dirty – probably from sleeping in the alleyway. But what really caught Armin’s attention, was the bruises. His tan skin was covered in bruises and cuts.

Armin raised his hand, leaning forward to look at the wound. His fingers carefully beginning to pull the fabric away to look at them.

A loud hiss came from Eren, his body shifting and eyes springing open. They darted around, looking at Mikasa briefly before landing on Armin.

The look in them…

Armin felt his whole body jolt at the sudden look.

“Ar-min?”

“Hold still, I can’t apply the medicine if you keep moving.”

Eren blinked, “It’s not that bad. I heal fast.”

“Looks bad.”

Mikasa shook her head, “He hit his head on the wall. Tell him the truth Eren.”

“Mikasa,” Eren groaned, “Fine…my…I’m tired, and you keep blurring.”

Armin swallowed thickly, leaning forward. A hand carefully gesturing for him to move forward so Armin could check his head. There was a nasty bump on the back of the head, one that should begin to heal quickly due to Eren being a shifter. But still, it must have been a harsh bang if Eren’s this out of it.

“You have concussion. Do not go to sleep, you have to stay awake.”

Eren stared at Armin, “I missed you.”

“The bump on your head must being messing with you. That’s normal. You probably feel dizzy, and sick.”

“I’m not lying,” Eren frowned, “It’s not because of I have a, what was it?”

“Concussion.”

“Yeah that.”

Armin shook her head, “Open your mouth please.”

The brunette blinked once then twice, he immediately did as he was told. His mouth opening and allowing Armin to push the spoon of sickly liquid into his mouth. He made a face at the taste, eyes twitching.

“The taste is normal.”

Eren made a sound, “It’s not nice.”

“Yeah,” Armin agreed, “Mikasa, he’ll be a little weird for a while. Probably talking about random things and-“

Suddenly Eren launched forward, he grabbed onto Armin’s hand. Both of his hands wrapping tightly around the hand, and tugging Armin closer.

“Don’t leave!”

Armin jumped, having to throw his other hand out to stop himself from falling straight onto the boy. His eyebrows creased, and he looked at Eren.

“I’m not,” he grunted, “I’m-“

Eren frowned, “You were too. You was going to leave me again.”

“Eren, we haven’t seen eachother in three years. Why are you still acting like that?”

“Three years is nothing between friends.”

Armin sighed, “We’re not-“

“Yes we are. We’ll always be.”

“This is your concussion-“

“Is not!”

Leaning forward, Armin used his fingers to look into Eren’s eyes. Trying to see if Eren’s eyes were dilated – a sign of a worser concussion.

“What are you doing?”

Armin clicked his tongue, “Checking to see if you have brain damage.”

“I do not!”

“With a strong enough bump on the head, it can cause any kind of brain trauma. It is possible.” 

Eren grumbled, tugging Armin closer – tried too.

Armin pulled back immediately. His blue eyes widening frantically, glancing around himself. He looked up at Mikasa, finding her face still blank and her eyes still looking so sad.

“What happened? How did you hit your head, and Mikasa, what’s with your hair?”

Mikasa shifted. A hand reaching to grab at the still long side of her hair.

“Assholes!” Eren grunted loudly, “It’s all these greedy shits fault, they want the rations we saved!”

Armin stared at the brunette. He watched as Eren swayed a little, a strange flush appearing across his face. His green eyes beginning to look rather inhuman. Armin clicked his tongue, and finally allowed Eren to pull him closer, however, he twisted Eren’s arm over his shoulders.

“Mikasa, help me. We should take him to my Grandfather, I think he might have brain trauma.”

Mikasa mutely nodded. She immediately came to Eren’s other side, pulling his arm around her shoulders.

“Aw, I said I’m fine.”

“You’re not,” Armin grunted, lifting Eren together with Mikasa, “And if you are, then it’s good to have somebody else check.”

Eren scuffed, “You mean a grownup? They took our bread rolls you know. Because we’re too, what was it they called us?”

“Leaches.”

“Yeah, that.”

Armin twitched, “Adults called you that?”

“They did – they did.”

Pressing his lips together, Armin walked Eren out of the alleyway. His arm holding Eren around the middle with Mikasa. When he looked at the dark haired girl, he found her staring off to the side.

Armin blinked, following her eyeline up to a group of woman. His eyes moved between them, finding them going through a few different martials. They seemed to be eagerly talking among themselves, Armin’s ears picked up on ‘selling’ and ‘how much money’ and ‘food’. They were going to sell the fabrics for food, made sense he guessed.

…the scarf.

The red scarf was held between one of the woman’s hands. Armin knew that scarf anywhere, memorized every single little markings on it. He was able to spot Mikasa’s stable scarf anywhere, recognized it easily, even when it wasn’t on the girl.

Armin paused. Finding Mikasa stop moving already, her eyes soft, sad and lost.

Eren hummed, rolling his head to the side. He grumbled when he saw it, his eyes blazing.

“Ohhh.”

“Eren,” Mikasa grunted.

The brunette snorted, “We could have – we could have.”

“No we couldn’t,” Mikasa sighed, “We had nothing. They gave me a bread roll for it.”

Armin swallowed in realization. Mikasa traded the scarf away? To feed herself and Eren. He gazed between Mikasa and the scarf, a horrific sinking feeling beginning to fill his stomach. That wasn’t right, who would do that to a child? Mikasa loved that scarf, even if Armin thought it was a little…unsavoury how attached she was.

“Was it the same way with your hair?”

Mikasa mutely nodded.

“Hair?” Eren gasped, “What happened to your hair?”

The girl sighed, “Eren, you really are out of it. I sold some of it yesterday for water.”

“You what? Where?”

Armin sighed. He looked back at the females thoughtfully, he clicked his tongue and carefully turned his body. He slid his hands up to remove Eren’s arm, carefully moving the brunette over to Mikasa – she was definitely strong enough to support him by herself.

Weirdly they both snapped their eyes to him, looking frantic – desperate?

“Armin!” Eren whined, “Don’t leave me!”

Mikasa stared at him, pleading?

“I’m not,” Armin promised, “I’ll be right back.”

The blonde breathed in deeply, he walked up the women. His eyes sliding back and forth, looking between them as they talked among themselves, not noticing him yet. Armin cleared his throat after another five minutes of not being noticed.

The woman all melted into silence, turning to look at him. They blinked down at him, and they didn’t immediately turn him away. Probably because he looked cleaner then everyone else.

“Aw, are you lost sweetie?”

“No ma’am,” Armin spoke calmly, “My…I mean, she’s really cold. How much for the red scarf?”

A woman with dirty blonde hair held up Mikasa’s red scarf, “You mean this one hon?”

“Yes ma’am.”

The woman shared a look.

“How about ten pounds?”

“Ten?” Armin frowned.

“Well yes, it’s in good condition after all.”

Armin almost scuffed at that. Mikasa worshipped it, that’s why. He didn’t understand why she would willingly give it. She would never have before.

“…how about 8?”

“8?” the dirty blonde repeated, “Alright. I can do that for you, if you give us an extra bandage roll.”

Blinking up at her, Armin’s hand raised to cover the medicine bag. He pressed it firmly into his hip. He had rules to follow, he could get into trouble he breaks them…

“Oh come on,” another woman pipped up, “I’m sure the Garrison has lots! Why they trusted a child like you with them is beyond me! I’m sure you don’t mind giving one more to us.”

“…”

Armin clocked his head thoughtfully, his eyes flickering back over to Eren and Mikasa. The pair was staring daggers at him, looking almost scared? Why did they look like that? Why were they looking so worried?

“Alright.”

“You’re so sweet sweetie.”

He nodded his head, taking out his small bag of coins. He counted out eight of them, before holding his hand up to the woman.

“I’ll give you the bandage roll once you have given me the scarf.”

The dirty blonde chuckled, “Clever little guy you are, aren’t you?”

“I’ve had too many people trick me before. I won’t fall for it again. My – she wants the scarf, so please.”

The woman nodded, “Fair enough.”

Once Armin had the scarf back in his hands, he took a bandage roll from his bag and passed it to the woman. He then bowed respectfully and turned back around, he walked straight back the way he came – coming to stand in front of the boy and girl.

“Here you go Mikasa. You should…hold onto it more.”

Armin wrapped it back around Mikasa’s head – back where it belonged. He had to admit, Mikasa did not look right without it. Now she looked hole again.

At first Mikasa simply stared back at him. Her face unchanging, still indifferent, but then in the next second, her eyes changed. They became that misty-trembling like sight again. Suddenly, she whipped forward, taking Armin by surprise.

Armin yelped, stumbling backward. He was not expecting to suddenly have to support another body.

Mikasa wrapped her arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly.

“Thank you.”

“Er…no problem?”

Eren frowned, “I want to hug too!”

“Then join,” Mikasa coolly said.

“Fine, I will.”

Before Armin could say anything, Eren pressed himself up his other side. He grimaced, having to support both of them all of a sudden. Both of them squeezing him so very tightly, that he was beginning to feel dizzy.

What was wrong with them? They had ran away, left him behind in so many different lines. They didn’t care. They didn’t care. They didn’t care.

Armin didn’t like this.

“Hey Armin,” Eren said, “I think you’re right, I’m gonna be sick.”

“What? Do it over there! Not on me! Eren!”

“Oh whoa, everything’s suddenly beginning to spin. Is that normal?”

“Eren! Don’t you dare!”

“Ug-oh!”

“Eren!”

“Armin!”

At the new voice, Armin turned his head. His eyes squinting through the sharp sunrays to see the two figures vastly approaching.

“Grandpa.”

The old man came to stop in front of them. His weary eyes widening upon seeing the three of them, looking between Eren and Mikasa.

“I see.”

Armin bit down on his bottom lip, not liking the look on the old man’s face. He could see Margert with him too. She had a worried smile on her lips, and quickly approached them on Mikasa’s side.

“Grandpa, Eren’s got a bad concussion.”

“I do not.”

“Eren, you just throw up and you can’t walk by yourself.”

Eren grumbled. He went to push from Armin and Mikasa, he took one step forward on his own before he stopped. He immediately turned back, and pressed himself back into Armin’s side.

“Maybe a little. Dizzy when I try to move.”

Armin frowned. Why was Eren holding onto him? Why couldn’t he hold onto Mikasa? Looking at said girl, Armin’s eyebrows creased at seeing her facing Margaret and not Eren. She was nodding to everything the old lady said, Margaret reached out to touch her missing part of hair.

“Okay, come here Eren. Let me have a look at your head.”

“Aw-k-a.”

~#~#~#~

The carriage trembled. The trotting of the tired horses making the carriage shake.

Armin sat stiffly. His back straightened, and arms crossed in front of himself. His eyes trained on the sinking form of Trost. It was getting smaller and smaller with every passing second. The sun was beginning to set, touching the land and coating the ground in a warm amber glow – the moon already out.

His eyes squinted, glaring into the distance. 

“Where are we going?”

“The Krolva District.” 

Eren made a quiet sound next to him, “…is that where you live? Have been living for the past three years?”

“Yes.”

Armin sighed quietly. His Grandfather decided to take Eren and Mikasa with them. Taking them back to their tiny-tiny house. Armin couldn’t help but feel annoyed. After everything, after working so hard to separate himself from Eren and Mikasa, moving away from them to try and build his own future, they were being forced back together again.

What’s he supposed to do? How was he supposed to deal with this?

With a sigh, Armin turned his head. He looked across the open carriage, seeing other villagers onboard – returning to the village. He could see Margaret next to his Grandfather, the two sitting close to one another.

Mikasa was sitting on Armin’s other side. Her body just as stiffly as his, arms straightened and pressed against her lip. Her head was high, looking ahead with unmoving eyes – was she curious? Taking in the new scenery?

“…Shiganshina fell…”

Armin turned back to Eren, this time finding the boy staring at him. The bandages wrapped tightly around his head, despite seeming to be more there – his eyes. Eren’s eyes, there was something wrong with them – something different. Not the same of the need to kill, not the same type of eyes he used to have when he wanted to destroy all the Titans.

Eren’s eyes were just so wrong.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you left when you could,” Eren said, “You were right. It was a hell hole that drained us of our souls. I should have pressed more, but now Mum’s dead, and Dad’s somewhere.”

“…I’m…”

Eren shrugged, “I dreamt about it many nights. Especially leading up to it. I guess you could say it was my fault.”

Armin flinched, “It’s not your fault Eren. You couldn’t have known it would generally happen.”

“You did.”

“Um.”

Eren leant against him suddenly. His head laying against Armin’s shoulder, “Don’t leave me again, okay?”

“What?”

“Remember what you said when you left?” Eren asked quietly.

What he said? What did he say again?

‘I don’t hate you, you idiot! I love you!’

Armin’s eyes widened, his body beginning stiffen up further. His shoulders raised, and his cheeks began to darken.

I love you.

“You remember that?”

“Hmm,” Eren hummed, “I said I’ll prove it to you. You were wrong. You made the bad decision.”

Bad decision?

Armin sighed deeply. He didn’t make the wrong decision, he made the right decision. He won’t be relying on Eren or Mikasa, he will make his own pathway, his own future, and will create a new dream.

He will still create a dream that didn’t involve Eren Yeager or Mikasa Ackerman. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am debating playing with my favourite and i guess debunked theory? i hate that armin's a little...not important. i want to make him very-very important, so should i write one of the fandoms most favourite theories into the story? or keep it pretty much canon? let me know.
> 
> oh whoa! i cannot believe how many of you read this! all the comments! the kudos! the bookmarks! you guys, you really made me cry. i wasn't expecting anybody to read it, let alone like it. thank you so-so-so much! really, it means a lot to me. i get so excited whenever i read your comments.


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